So, moving on from the rant.
His slut over at http://thoughtsfromhisslut.blogspot.co.uk/?zx=ebb5065c610694bb asked...
At what point in your life did you know you were submissive?
Early twenties i would say, was when i became more aware of the desires i had, just didnt have a name for them, i had these fantasies of wanting to be dominated, tied up, instructed in what to do etc it was a while before i actually did anything about exploring them though.
You often journal your struggles. Is it easier for you to share that side than share the more intimate side?
I do, dont i lol. My biggest issue, and what causes a lot of my struggles is i do hold myself back from letting go completely, as soon as i feel like im there, i get scared and want to pull back. I had to think on this question, i dont think its so much that i find it easier, its just easier for me to write about these times because i find it helpful to write it out, it helps in giving myself perspective..not sure than makes any sense or not.
Are you afraid of judgement if you shared the intimate times between you two?
No, there have been many posts that i have written that are more likely to have people judging, none of those being intimate in nature. I should make more of an effort to write about our intimate moments, because there are many of them, but intimacy for me can range from an s/m session, the connection between us at these times for me is intimate, to see his desire for me, and mine for him, to simply cuddling up in bed and falling asleep, intimacy takes on many forms.
as an add on, was going to make it a separate post, but im not!
Master and i have a different point of view about this, so im putting it out here for anyone that would like to give their thoughts...hmm im counting on submissive solidarity here lol
Bi-sexuality.
My point of view
I do not define myself as bi-sexual, i have been with women at his request, its not something i enjoy, to the extent given a choice i would not do it, he would like me to be more enthusiastic, to learn to love it, embrace it, and believes i can in time. I however am of the mind that you cannot make someone something they are not, i can try, but ultimately i have no desire for other women, it just doesnt do it for me, so i cannot see that i will ever be jumping for joy about being with a woman sexually.
His point of view
He thinks i can and should be able to, based on the fact that i have grown to love elements of bdsm that once i wasnt keen on. (whereas i feel thats completely different).
So thoughts, and anyone felt like i have and eventually learned to love it?
Remember....solidarity!!!!!
I don't know that it is the same at all. I guess in your position I would think about it pleasing him to have you play with other women, and maybe get off on his pleasure a bit.
ReplyDeleteYep.
DeleteI do get off on it being forced, and that he enjoys it, its the whole being enthusiastic bit thats the issue, i just cant see myself ever being really into it..if that makes sense?
x
it's not impossible for sexuality to be a fluid thing and change over time - certainly it seems to for some. Not for others and I'm with you - having your feelings change over BDSM stuff and sexuality are too different things.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you'll meet a special woman one day who you click with and who does it for you, maybe you won't, impossible to tell. From what you've written about it, it does seem unlikely...
Yes..they are different, but i can see and understand that sexuality is a fluid thing, i could change but im inclined to think not.
Deletex
I think it's unlikely you would change your feelings towards women as a whole, however, like mc kitten said, maybe you will find a woman that you could be excited about because you like her personality and such.
ReplyDeleteYep thats how im thinking.
DeleteBut maybe, never say never lol
x
My thoughts are on the same line as yours. I think you can learn to tolerate because your goal is to please Him but that does not mean you enjoy it. There are many things I do for Master, because He gets pleasure. If it was my choice, I would never choose/do them.
ReplyDeleteThanks for answering my questions.
Yes!!!!
Deletethat is it Hs, i do it for him, and i think thats enough!
x
"i do it for him, and i think thats enough!" It's an example of what makes you special tori
DeleteHi Tori, my thoughts are along the same lines as you also. I think it unlikely your feelings will change.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
thank you Roz, i appreciate your solidarity lol
Deletex
Hi tori. Great post and thank you for the intimate peek inside your life. As far as an opinion on your "forced" bi-sexual experiences ... here are my thoughts. In a D/s relationship, I believe that through careful negotiations and conversations, an absolute list of limits is created and as such, anything that isn't on that list is something that I am willing to do if it pleases my Mistress. I am always mindful that my primary source of pleasure comes from seeing Mistress get her pleasure from my submission and servitude. For me, it's bi-sexuality that I would be willing to do because it is a limit, and Mistress has no desire to see me sexually with another man. That being said, at the end of the day, I do realize that if it were something that Mistress truly wanted me to do because it did give her pleasure, after contemplation, I'm certain I'd acquiesce to please her. Her pleasure, in turn would give me great pleasure. Eating my cum is something similar. Currently, I am not required to do it and it is not something Mistress at all thinks is something she'd like for me to do. However, for the most, most submissive males in a loving Female Led Relationship/Marriage are required to do it as a matter of standard operating procedure. Mostly, I assume, because it is a logically appropriate symbolic gesture of their submission. Even the act itself does not appeal to me, the idea that it was required of me does. I hope that makes sense.
ReplyDeleteLove your blog sis.
Thank you, it makes perfect sense, this is how i feel about it.
DeleteI will always do my utmost to please him, even when its something i particularly dont want to do, because thats the way im wired.
x
Within the limits I have agreed with my Master, I will do whatever pleases him., I will admit that at the beginning, I was not attracted to women at all but the pleasure it gave my Master was all I needed for me to take part with enthusiasm. It's perhaps hard to explain but as always, His pleasure was all that I needed to make it my pleasure.
ReplyDeleteSome years on, I will admit that there are now many other women I have been with both Domme and sub, that I would say I have been both very attracted to and aroused by. No-one more surprised by this than me. I'm not sure if this makes me bisexual but given that I have now been intimate with two women in a non-BDSM swinging environment, I suppose it probably does. I do know that there are things another woman can do to me that a man never quite seems to.
Thank you for this.
DeleteThere may well be hope for me, or rather him, yet!
I have never felt anything sexual towards woman, perhaps the right woman, the right circumstances that may change...i guess only time will tell.
x
What you say makes ample sense to me. As a submissive husband, I want to gladly comply with my wife's desires because I have made solemn vows to love, honour, cherish, respect, and obey my sweet Mistress. Even if the actual act does not give me pleasure, serving her is very fulfilling and makes us both happy. For example, I do not necessarily enjoy rising from a nice warm bed on a cold morning to bring her coffee in bed. But being of service to her in that way brings me joy because she likes me doing it. Ultimately, she is happy and I am happy and that is a very good feeling. I do not necessarily enjoy licking anything unclean, but our nightly ritual is that I lovingly lick her feet clean so she does not go to sleep with unclean feet. I then go in and wash my face and brush my teeth and come back and kiss her and tell Mistress of my love for her. This ritual is a tangible token of my surrender and ends our day on a submissive husband note. I go to sleep joyful in my submission to my Mistress. The same holds true for being sexually denied for long periods of time. I love sex with her but am joyful in my denial and am happy being made to only please her and ejaculate in other ways besides inside her because it elevates her status in my eyes and soul. The same holds true for licking her feet clean after I cum on them. Everyone knows that after a man cums the last thing he wants to do is consume his own semen. But if she orders me to do so, I gladly do it as a way to end the encounter in a way that keeps me in a submissive mindset and elevates her status in our relationship.
ReplyDeleteSolidarity! Yes!
Thank you
DeleteBeing of service is important to me, its so much more than just being of a sexual nature, i take enjoyment from doing what i can for him, i love what you said about going to sleep joyful in your submission...that whats makes it all so worthwhile.
thank you
x