Wednesday, 11 March 2015

Stone-age versus internet age

Diverting now, still havent answered your original questions gg lol, and others, not complaining.

I was curious too about the difference between stoneage and internet age slaves?  On a more serious note, and related to your great answers on the second half...You say you don't feel you are there - in what he expects.  I'm not quite sure how to ask this - i feel mine has how he wants me to be - both working towards and right not.  They aren't the same.  Neither of us is setting the bar low, but i guess he figures i can always grow and improve, but that doesn't necessarily make me not want he wants here and now.  Sometimes im certainly not - but generally speaking....does that make any sense?  What do you think he would say?

I was being tongue in cheek, aimed towards my Master more than anything..coz he is so rigid in his definition of slave whereas im more flexible...but (of course, theres a but!)

When i first start exploring D/s i had the internet to find out about things etc, which can be both a blessing and a curse, when M/s was first brought up...i headed towards the internet, there is all this information thrown at you, pages of 'how to be the perfect slave', 'how to train your slave' etc etc.  I searched a lot of information, to get a bit more understanding, what is a slave, a consensual slave?

Then there are books, non-fiction books, so many today out there, providing information, advice etc, bdsm, kink sites, to find a Master or a slave, many well advertised clubs and munches.

But there is not one definition in my mind, because reading what i did, and especially discovering blogs, people live M/s in different ways, from playing being a sex slave to the full on 'i will do anything and everything slave'.  So, im less rigid in how i feel about the meaning of slave, i think there is way more flexability in the meaning than he does.

Master, when he started out, 30 plus years ago, there was no internet, it was word of mouth, who you know, magazines where you would reply or advertise with a box number and they would send any replies on to you.  Very private clubs, which again you found out about through word of mouth, they was not advertised, not to the extent they are today, you had to know what you was looking for to find them.

So based on then to now, the meaning of what being a slave is, TPE  has lost its relevance, its 'fashionable'..not my words, so the 'label' of slave in general im not hung up on, because its too generic, but it does matter to me what he thinks about it....does that make sense?

So, it was just very different, but getting to the point, his definition of slave is simply that they are there to obey, to please, but to be more specific in his words from a conversation which might give a more clearer idea of how he thinks, a recent one, in the aftermath of my recent punishment, as close to his words as i can.

"As my slave you can and will be treated that way at any time [hard and coldly].  I expect your obedience and respect at all times and you must serve me in any way I choose, at any time of my choosing."

"You are very welcome to tell me that something scares you, or that you are not keen, or even that you would rather not do something.  If however, I tell you to do something, I expect you to obey, whether you detest the activity or not"

"You may always ask questions about what I am planning, but I may choose to not answer them, subs get to discuss, slaves do not!"

See, this is an example of why im reluctant to let him on my blog! but he is coming on it anyway which case i shall probably go into hiding for a few weeks lol

But to answer your other questions, i dont feel im where he would like me to be, because my thoughts about it all differ to his, however we do do it his way! so its taking me time to get into the mindset he ultimately requires.

That being said, he is happy with how im doing, i have come a long way, but certainly i have a way to go, he would probably say my biggest hurdle is caring/worrying too much about what people think and that i do have quite a few moments of 'there must be something wrong with me for enjoying things that are wrong'.  So it holds me back, he wants to see me get to the point where i just let it all go, and embrace who i am, what i am to him, and there is no shame in that.

I am inclined to agree with him, but you know, im a stress head, i have a tendency to worry about things that might never be, heck im just a worrier full stop.


  1. Tori - thank you for a full on answer. In the end - that is it exactly, "...but it does matter to me what he thinks about it." He's maybe the opposite to your Master - has read very, very little on the topic, old or new, has exactly his own ideas of what he wants, and the only label he cares about is that I'm "His." And he lets me know what he wants that to mean. I really appreciate your describing his take on it, and your own, and how you feel about the road to getting there.

    1. Yep really that sums it matters little how the label is defined, or what it means to anyone else etc....its what matters to ones dominant, and yourselves.


  2. Thanks for the answer Tori. I find it hard to gauge what somebody means when they say they are a slave - it's not something I would ever desire to be. Reading your Master's perspective clearly shows it is straightforward for him, which is often the case with men! Like gg says, it is a road to get there and I guess it is rather neverending, which is life in general.

    1. It is hard, because there are so many variations, its not something i ever considered, goodness knows how i got here lol do tend to be more blunt and to the point than woman.


  3. Ah, can I just say, "Oh, yeah I got it" on all points and add that I was shaking my head in agreement throughout the whole post?

    Be gentle with yourself---I remember the post from last March after the one your Master came on---don't hide. You are who you are and there are many of us who like you very much.

    1. I had a strong feeling you would, so thank you.

      I wont, well i will try my hardest not to, thank you for being understanding.