Saturday, 30 May 2015

His sadism, my masochism

Hope this gives a bit more insight His slut as per your comment "I just wish you would share more scenes as I'm super intrigued on your degree of masochism, how you nurture His sadism and encourage Him to push both you and Himself"

*This post had turned into a longer post than intended lol*

As i briefly said in my reply, there are somethings im not willing to share because im uncomfortable in doing so, to elaborate on that its for numerous reasons,  i dont want to risk unwelcome judgy comments questioning safety, my welfare, that its not SSC, and what a cruel bastard he is....although i wouldnt argue with calling him a cruel bastard!

But also, writing about scenes we have isnt something that i really get a lot out of, and somethings i simply prefer to keep private....oh and yes i do worry about what people will think....i know, i know, i shouldnt.

My degree of masochism is variable, dependent on many factors, when im asked "how much pain can you take?" its like saying "how long is a piece of string?" when on form, in the right mood, right circumstances etc i can happily take a severe caning or whipping where it leaves raised welts and the skin is cut and bleeding.

But yet there also times where it can be a few strokes in and im begging him to stop, and im not coping very well at all, sometimes im just not simply in the mood for s/m at all and therefore not receptive to it, not that this deters him! when he is in the mood, im getting it like it or not.

Aside from impact implements, we enjoy various activities, i like what i call more torture based s/m...clover clamps on nipples and labia with weights added one by one, and then being made to move, usually with encouragement from the whip or cane, i love needles, the sharpness as they pierce the skin, the blood from them...blood is a huge turn on for me.

hmm ok, well, there isnt a lot that i havent tried that i have wanted to and some that i havent wanted to but have lol, as for him well lets just say he has been dabbling with s/m etc for over 30 years and some of what he has said about his past dabblings are things i have no wish to experience (too extreme) and are best left off the blog!

I think i shall use his words from a Q&A session a few years ago to give an insight into how his mind works in respect of my masochism...

 Generally, I am very happy for her to go into sub space when she is being caned.  I like to see her bleed, and I enjoy administering the cane, so what's not to like.  There are times; however, when i prefer to see suffering.  I like to see the pain in her face, and watch her trying to control it, for me.  I like to see her cry, and to see her scared, worried about what will happen next.  Sometimes, I like to administer many different sorts of pain at once.  In particular, I like to see her writhe under the whip.  I love the marks the whip makes, and the bruises and welts that come later.  This is particularly true of using the whip on her back and breasts. 

My decision on how far to push her, will be based on previous experience, with that type (or specific) activity.  If she's clearly having trouble with something, I may slow it down, or take a break, but she always gets what I have decided she will take.  I am a sadist, and for me, pushing her hard like this, perhaps beyond where she thought she could go, is a real turn-on.  There's more to 'edge-play' than knives or breathing restrictions.  All activities in BDSM have edges for an individual, and each individuals edges will differ.  Tori knows that sometimes she will be pushed way beyond her comfort zone, or perhaps that should be her discomfort zone.  She may scream, cry, beg and frequently call me all sorts of names.  Afterwards, she delights in what she has achieved, her marks, the lingering pain, and frequently wants to be taken there again! 

His sadism far exceeds my masochism, i know, as does he, that i could not handle his worst, this used to bother me, but he has over the years assured me that im enough for him, although there are times i sense his frustration that he has to stop before he has wanted to.

So im inclined to say his sadism does not need nurturing, although we do feed off of one another, there are moments when he may be hurting me and i hold eye contact with him, i can see his enjoyment, his passion and that in turn spurs me to want to take more for him.

He likes it a lot when i ask, well, preferably beg him to hurt me, especially if its for something im not keen on, that tends to get him motivated and encourages him when he might not be particularly in the mood, of course sometimes he might say no!

He encourages me by using what i call emotional blackmail  "be a good girl and take some more for me" or "6 more then you can have my cock", or by using his fingers on my pussy, bringing me so very close, and then withdrawing to continue the torture, which usually then brings me to climax.

But mostly we have fun, we both are getting enjoyment from it, im a giggler and its not uncommon to me to have a fit of giggles when it might not seem like i should be, most recently was when he was whipping my stomach and thighs, i looked over to him and started laughing, he just commented "I can go harder" which just made me laugh more...and the fun really starts.

Friday, 29 May 2015

No room on the blogroll for doormats

Im not leaving blogger, goodness me, no way, i need to have somewhere to express myself, and this is my somewhere.

I have spent the last few days going through my blogroll, reading comments i have left on peoples posts, over analysing what i have said to see if what i have wrote could be in any way interpreted as being offensive.

I know sometimes i can write a comment somewhere, read it back and think ''oh that didnt come across well" and i will comment again, in writing my own posts i try to be as honest as i can about my opinions, but they are just opinions.

I offended someone, with a comment i made,  i dont know whom because although they sent me an email, they failed to tell me who they were, or their blog name, and i dont recognise the email address, they asked if i could stop following them because they dont want..and i quote "your type of doormat slave on my followers list"....

I did reply making the point that i couldnt unfollow them if they didnt tell me whose blog it is im meant to be unfollowing!

Didnt receive a reply!

Normal service resumed.

yes well

I cant read minds, and its perhaps for the best, but i can read, and i can write (ok grammer isnt great), the written word is open to interpretation, if offence is caused, its not intentional.

Thats all, over and out, sometimes its best to know when to walk away.

Thursday, 28 May 2015

Mish mash of vanilla and kink

The cake baking has gone relatively well, its definitely confirmed my daughter makes the better cake...although one i did looked better, hers tasted better..but its all about the taste so she wins...and she is enjoying letting me know that.    In 3 days 5 cakes have been made, so one just has to hope we can pull it off on Tuesday when we make it in class!..the only niggle i have left is i have an electric oven and the school ones are gas, so im not sure about if that will make a big difference or not.

Is it possible for ones mouths/jaws to shrink?  because when Master went to put the ball gag in my mouth it wouldnt fit at all!!! and its the same one we have always had, im not complaining, ball gags are not my favourite type of gags....being a drooling mess is not appealing, even though he would disagree, and they are not as comfortable as penis gags, i love them.

My sons funds/loan for university came through, its a scary thought that at 18 he has a huge loan waiting to be paid off before he has even started working!  im very proud of him, but im also very worried, over silly things...will he eat healthy, get enough sleep, keep on top of washing his clothes, not waste his money on crap....i know....i shouldnt but i am......he is however close enough to come home at weekends should he want to, and i figure the clothes that need washing will be coming home with him!

I bought a new sex toy, we have a vibrating remote controlled egg, but this looks more fun..

Butterfly in your panties

I like remote controlled toys such as these, are great fun when out, not knowing when he might press the button, could be doing something very mundane when suddenly *ping* and your struggling to compose yourself in what might be a very public not a huge fan of public humiliation, but this is the closest to it im comfortable with, because no-one knows except the two of us.

Wednesday, 27 May 2015

Exposed to one another

I have often felt it a weakness that i am dependent on him, where i feel so very vulnerable, that i need his approval, i need his attention, i need his control, i simply need him.

It goes against what i had fought so hard to not allow to happen, that no way could i let someone get so close that my emotions would be so easily exposed, because if you let someone tear down the walls, you leave yourself open, vulnerable and at the risk of being hurt.

But surrendering to him is not a weakness, and nor is it solely about me, i belong to him, but he also belongs to me, he is as emotionally invested in us just as much as i am, its often easy to forget that, i need him and he needs me.

In this we are equals, although the power exchange implies otherwise, and certainly there is inequality in our relationship, its taken both of us to knock down each others walls, to expose ourselves to one another, to know things about one another that have never been shared with others, and by doing so we are stronger together.

Monday, 25 May 2015

More random facts

Thanks to Rye at collared mom for giving me 14, this is not as easy as one might think!  Im going to break them in half again, 7 vanilla, 7 kink.  Again, if you want to play along, i give you the same number as me...14, if you wish to play along.


1)  I would rather be somewhere an hour early than 5 minutes late, i cant stand being late, i get agitated, my watch and clocks in the house are all set to ten minutes earlier than the actual time..only exceptions are mobile and laptop.

2)  Throughout my life i have always had dogs, my last one Milo, passed away nearly 2 years ago and i cant bring myself to having another one, he was badly abused when i got him at 14 months old, covered in cigarette burns, kept outside on a short chain with no kennel in all weathers, never taken for walks (the bastard previous owner did get prosecuted) it took many, many months to gain his trust, when i did, he proved to be the most loving, loyal dog i have had, im not ashamed to admit i mourned him for months, i still miss him..and i cant go through that unless i feel differently in time, no more dogs for me.

3)  My mother wanted to send me to a finishing school, going as far as registering me for one, it was one of the few times my dad put his foot down and wouldnt let it happen..yay dad! i remember looking around it, i picked up enough then to know i didnt want to go.

4)  The best pick up from a man i have ever had was years back in a local bar, he was flirty, asked me out, i replied "when they fully recover the Titanic" and besides i was in a relationship, got a phone call couple days later from people saying i should pop down to the pub....on the bar was a jar with a label saying 'funds needed to raise the titanic, help a man out'....if i was single..he would of pulled, i do like a good sense of humour lol...he is now a good friend.

5)   I like older men, always have, i lost my virginity at 18 to a man of 35, we first got together when i was 16, he thought i was older than i was when we met, we was on and off for a few years as my age freaked him out, it didnt bother me, however now being older myself, and having a daughter of 13, if she came home at 16 and said she was seeing a man of that age..i would freak right out!  Master is 14 years older than me, its not a problem at all, as i occasionally say to  him i love grumpy old men :)

6)   I dread going to dinner parties, or anywhere where there is a set menu as im quite a fussy eater, but because i dont like waste or want to offend there have been times when i have forced food down, and its not unknown for me to keep napkins in my handbag to wrap food in if i can do it un-noticed..i know, how old am i!

7)  If pushed to name a favourite band/singer it would be Queen, Freddie Mercury, when i watch videos of them, especially live  i think he was a very sexy man, and a most brilliant performer, its difficult imo not to be entranced by watching him on stage, he engaged the audience in a way that i dont think anyone else has come close to.


1)  When he says "Is that right?" or goes "hmm" i know i need to tread carefully, he isnt pleased and that im pushing my luck, if he goes silent, i know im fucked...and not in a good way!

2)  I love being hooded, however although he does often allow me to be, he prefers access to my mouth, he likes to kiss me when he is torturing me up close, to feel/hear my breath exhaling, the muffled cries as he does so, and he likes to see my eyes, to see the pain in them, the tears forming, and yet also the look of desire.

3)  We havent used electrics for a while, but i do like the violet wand, the sensations are amazing, the tens machine is nice when on low, very pleasurable, up high, its agony, it has been a long while but i remember enough to know high is too much..much too much.

4)  The first time he put a needle through my labia i was quite sure i was going to be sick, it made me lightheaded, not so much because of the pain but the sensation of it, in the tits on the it.

5)  I know im high maintenance, in the respect that i thrive and do better under his constant strict control, being kept on the proverbial tight leash, my behaviour tends to slip when he is really busy with work and i feel im not getting enough attention, its a vicious cycle that needs to be broken, its not fair on him and i do know better.

6)  I find it difficult to write about sex, there are so many bloggers that pull it off really well, it just makes me uncomfortable (writing about it, not reading), im ok with talking about kink of any or rather most forms, but actual sex scenes..they are a rare occurrence on this blog.  My favourite preference in regards to blogging, writing myself and reading others is more the mental/psychological aspects of ttwd than the physical.

7)  If ever all of us bloggers were to meet up (wouldnt that be nice?) i would be the one in the corner, sipping my drink, observing and listening, im open on here, love the interaction, but in person im rather shy and withdrawn, which i think people misconstrue as being stand-offish..but thats not the case at all.

Saturday, 23 May 2015

Smoke in the air

So, last Monday i had a sneaky cigarette whilst hanging up the clothes in the garden, i havent told him yet, i plan to before this gets published.

Im not allowed to smoke, he had made that very clear the last time i begged for one a while ago, which was during breakfast when i was going to punished afterwards, he wasnt amused that i had even asked!

Anyways, besides that im not allowed to, i know its not good for you, i know all of that, especially on top of all my other health issues, but i never smoked a lot anyway, no more than 10 a day, usually 3 or 4 and really only when i was worrying and stressing over something..yeah im making excuses.

But, there are still times when i crave one, and this was one of those times, i have put off telling him because i wasnt sorry i had one, whilst smoking i had that sense of "fuck you, im enjoying this smoke"....brought about by feeling pissed at him that he had earlier made me do something i didnt want to do.........yes, yes, thats called submitting..

I regret it now, of course i do, i could make excuses, but it comes down to the fact that i chose to have the smoke, i chose to keep it from him for days, so now i must face the consequences of those choices.

Was it worth it?  umm probably not but damn i savoured every inch of that smoke

Friday, 22 May 2015

A question for those across the pond (US)

Reece's puff cereal, how much approximately over there please, if anyone knows?

I ask because they have just started stocking it over here, and its £5.00 a box!!!! honestly what mug would pay £5 for a box of cereal.....

this mug, thats who!.as a treat though, my kids love the chocolate bars, but they are also expensive..and Hersheys....omg i love that chocolate...i would move to the US just to munch on those..because finding them here is like looking for gold-dust.

So i converted it into the equivalent of dollars, and its $7.74 if i have worked it out right.

Im curious though as to what they do cost over there.

Thursday, 21 May 2015


I found this site via Within reality and as im at the point of being taunted by the blinking cursor, these prompts are handy....worth checking out if your lacking inspiration, there are over a hundred all ttwd related.

1)  when are you most aware of being owned/submissive?

When things that one would normally take for granted im denied or simply just not allowed to do or have, being aware that what i am allowed and can do are privileges that he can take away.  Its a constant feeling i think, after a while it becomes the norm and you just know its there, its in ones behaviour to the way of thinking.

2)  In the beginning, did you ever wonder if you could lose your sense of self somehow in your submission?  Has that proven to be the case?  Is that still a question for you?

No, not initially, didnt think about it..  I think if anything i gained rather than lost a sense of myself, submitting to him, being controlled felt right, it is right.  I have changed in my sense of self but in a positive way.

3)  How do you self identify?  Are you a sexual submissive?  A slave? A little?

Property/slave, although i use property/slave to identify the type of relationship dynamic im in, at the core of it imo the need to please him is what drives me, and i would say thats universal across the spectrum of ttwd, regardless of whether you identify as slave, submissive etc so yeah either or will do, add in slut, bitch or whatever.

4)  What does growth as a submissive mean to you?

Being open and willing to learn, pushing past things i find difficult or struggle with, it isnt always easy all the time, but if it was then im inclined to say im not growing, there are always ways i can better, improve myself as a submissive.

5)  What does being safe mean to you?

Being able to trust one another, without having trust there is no feeling of being safe.

Tuesday, 19 May 2015

Coffee cake panic

So, my daughter came home from school today and told me that in cookery class they are having a mother and daughter baking day, and they had to pick a recipe out of a container, and she got coffee cake.

Which i (coz i cant say no) will being going into school with her, after next weeks half term, to make together.....

"you cant fail on this mum, its important" pressure then!

but, really baking is something im not great at, i use every cheat imaginable...think 'add an egg' box mixes.... or i get them from the local deli......i know terrible mother that i am.

I havent met the cookery teacher so i did suggest getting her aunt to play her mum, but no she wasnt having that.

So next week im going to be stuck in the kitchen making coffee cake, over and over im sure,  honestly i know this sounds bad...but i cant even make a basic im going to have to find a recipe....which has to be idiot proof!

Life begins...

I love that quote.

I turn 40 later this year, my children are trying to convince me to have a huge party, its not going to happen, im not really a party person, well definitely not my own that is.

Anyway, i had just turned 30 when i met Master and as i have confessed on here before i bawled my eyes out when i turned 30..yes i know very sad lol.....but im ok (at the moment) about the thought of turning 40, its just a number right?  My 20's was a mixture of highs and lows, got married, had my children, marriage fell apart, worked doing something i loved, made a lot of mistakes, but learnt a lot.

On the brink of turning 40 i can look back at the last decade and be happy and content that taking the risk of pursuing D/s was worth it, yes some might say i should have worked harder at my marriage, thought of my children, but the marriage was falling apart pretty much from the start....we simply, no, not we, it was me, i, married for the wrong reasons.

When my son turned 18, one of his gifts from me was journals that i had kept since he was a few weeks old, where i would jot down moments from his childhood, although i didnt write in it everyday all the time, i made an entry at least every week, up to his 18th...he loved it, i also am doing the same for my daughter.

This blog journals most of my relationship with Master, not all, as it was started quite a while after we got together, and i keep a handwritten journal as well, which is more private, both document the highs and lows.

Some of my earlier posts are cringeworthy....omg did i really think that? say that?..umm yes i did! i should have joined Fetlife back then, i would have fitted right in with my uber slaveness superiority :) now i guess as the years have gone by im more jaded, but its good for a giggle.

Which brings me to the point...yes i do take a while to get to the point!

In life, as we age.experience, evolve or whatever, its ok to change opinion, heck i have, not just within ttwd but so many things, so when someone comments on an old, really old post and points out that it contradicts what i have said recently, thats fine, because yes once i thought being a slave was all about how many times i got whacked about, treated cruelly etc....and then i aged, experienced, evolved, whatever....and now i think its more about the psychological, in fact the physical imo has nothing to do with it.

Friday, 15 May 2015

A weighty issue (vanilla)

There is a family wedding coming up in June, so yesterday i went out with my mother to buy an outfit, i dont really need a new outfit, i have perfectly nice dresses, but with things the way they are with my mother, i was going to make the effort.

We went to a boutique, the saleswoman brought out a beautiful dress, remarking that with the nice slender figure i have it would be complimentary (yeah well she's on commisson!) my mother at this point interjected 'she was really fat, shamelessly so,  its only because she is diabetic that she is thin, a blessing in disguise'

I felt humiliated, i felt sorry for the sales woman who was clearly embarrassed, my mother just couldnt understand how what she said was hurtful, i should know better by now!....i came home, didnt get the dress.

When i met Master, i was a uk size 16/18, yes overweight but not grossly obese, i wanted to lose some weight but i wasnt obsessive about it, Master has never made me feel any less than sexy and desirable, and although i was at times concious about my weight, it was an issue i had with myself, he never put pressure on me to lose weight.

Now, im underweight, although i have put on 3 pounds over the last week and a half, not a lot to make a huge difference, but im just relieved to know im gaining not losing, i would like to put on a stone, or get to dress size 12/14 just to fill out a bit, get some curves back.

I was happy and content with the weight loss (until it got out of hand), i was more confident in wearing clothes that were short, or figure hugging, still have wobbly bits, but as Master commented..'we all have wobbly bits'.

Besides i need a fatter ass, i swear the reason i havent been able to take a hard caning like i used to, is because there is not enough padding there anymore!

Tuesday, 12 May 2015

Get stuck in to blogging

Thoughts from discussions with a new blogger.

I started blogging in 2007, at Masters request, i took a long break of nearly 3 years, around 2009,  i wrote posts, but not published, every so often i will publish one, but getting to the point, the conversation was around the frustration of feeling like she doesnt fit in, lack of interaction etc

Apologies for not getting around to this sooner, i get distracted easily :)...of course this is based on how i use blogger.

1)  When i read someone's post, i read the comments as well, if its a comment from someone im not familiar with, i click on name, and sometimes (not always) add them to my blogroll.

2)  Dont feel obligated to comment on every post of bloggers you follow, if i did i would spend more time on here, i spend enough as it is!  i do however like to comment, sometimes i consider stopping blogging myself and just read and comment on others blogs...i would be content with doing that.

3)  When you get a comment, try to make the time to reply to it, i figure if someone has taken 5 minutes of their time to make that comment, its appreciated when its replied to.....however, some dont, dont take this personally, its how they blog.

4)  I allow anonymous comments, because some people are genuine, they just have no wish to blog, you can always set your blog to comments having to be approved if it concerns you..what might be said etc

5)  Write for you, not for an audience, try not to fall into the trap of obsessing over stats/number of followers, not important....well of course its nice to have followers, but what i mean i read somewhere recently (Bleuame) quality is better than quantity.

6)  Although March is generally q&a month in Blogland, dont be afraid to ask questions at any other time, as long as one is polite and not crossing the line into a bloggers privacy..most bloggers are more than happy to answer.

7)  Dont compare yourself, your relationship to others, i was very guilty of this when i first started out, its of no benefit, serves no purpose, diversity is a good thing, and no matter how experienced, or how old one is...everyone can learn something new, or value anothers opinion.

Ok, thats all i can think in respect of tips/advice..anyone got anything else...feel free to tag it on.

Monday, 11 May 2015

Fine dining in the room of doom

I get urges where i need to be used brutally, i crave it, and sometimes i will ask for it, the problem is when i ask for something, there is no taking it back, which is a bummer when i change my mind!

The set menu.

To start

A full body flogging

Main course

Single tail with side orders of  hood, clamps and weights

For dessert


Payment made in the form of blood, sweat and tears.

Service charge:  hard ass fucking

Aftercare:  coffee and chocolate mints and a well deserved nap...its damn tiring being beaten.

Better than an Indian meal Master!

Saturday, 9 May 2015

Sex and control

Kathy over at asked

"What is the most embarrassing moment before/during/after sex, you can remember?"

This is going to be a cop out answer, but really the best one i have is a time we was walking back from town, took a short cut through a public park, it was late at night, stopped to give him a  blowjob (and to be his urinal), and he observed someone with a dog, stood by the trees watching....i was mortified, embarrassed...he thought it was funny!

So sex.

I dont talk about it a lot, its not high up there on my list of whats important in our relationship, i enjoy it, we have a great sex life, i never used to have a high sex drive, but since he reduced the amount of times i get to orgasm...its changed, which i didnt expect.

It can be weeks, and sometimes months before he allows me release, i never imagined it would be something i would like, but i do, i love it, its the control more than anything that does it for me, and that it keeps me focused on the fact that it is about his pleasure, his satisfaction, and simply that its about his needs not mine.

Thats not to say that im always happy about it, i get moments where i long for an orgasm, and im not allowed to ask for one, sometimes i try and work around that, which generally is not a good idea!  but for the most part orgasm denial has become a kink that i wouldnt want to not have....if he let me cum whenever i wanted, it would be a novelty at first, but one that i would tire of fast.

Yes, its about the control, that is my biggest love, the lack of it i have.  I dont need to have orgasms to enjoy sex, i enjoy pleasing him that is far more satisfying, to simply be used to sate his needs, so i guess its also about objectification as well, which i also love.

For us, being his slave means that i dont have 'rights' to anything, what i am allowed to do or have is what he allows me, naturally this includes orgasms, the fantasy of this is somewhat appealing, the reality of it is another matter....but yet for me M/s is not about the great sex or how many orgasms im getting so its perhaps why i dont consider it important.

Wednesday, 6 May 2015

Random facts

On reading over at (bloody linking playing me up to add link..nothing happens) anyway, reading there, the prompt was offered that if you commented, you would be given a random number of facts to say about yourself..bit of fun...i got 12.

Anyways, im going to play along and do the same, for every comment here, i offer up the same to you dear bloggers...12 random facts about yourself...about whatever you like...if you would like to play along of course.

So, 6 vanilla and 6 kink seems reasonable...hopefully of things that are new and fresh, although possibly not, forgotten what i have mentioned over the years....


1)  Politics interests me a lot, and with the general election coming up here, im keeping up with the debates on tv, the policies of the main parties, i have attended local meetings here when i have been able to, im a big believer in if your going to vote (and i believe one should) then you should at least know the basics of the party/your local politician your intending to vote for....however saying that...there all a bunch of wankers for the most part.

2)  Although my relationship with my mother is not great,  i am a daddies girl, even now, i was the stereotypical spoilt little princess growing up, and i do at times still call him daddy and he still does spoil me lol, and i do have moments where the spoilt attitude comes out, generally when something is not going my way..not proud of it but well yeah there it is!

3)  I like good old fashioned letter writing, in this age of text messages, emails etc, i still write letters, and have brought my children up to write thank-you letters for Christmas/birthday presents etc, i just think its a more personal touch and more appreciated, and good manners.

4)  I am not an early morning person at all, im a 'dont speak to me (unless its really important) until i have had  2 cups of tea', after the 2 teas i move onto coffee for the rest of the day and night.....then you can talk to me!

5)  The Walking Dead is one of my favourite tv shows....and Daryl..hmm he can take me for a ride anytime he likes...and i dont mean on the bike.

6)  live right by the sea, love to look at it, but i cant swim, i have a fear of the sea, and the very idea of being in a boat in the middle of the ocean with no land in sight would be one of my worst nightmares


1)  My favourite piece of equipment is the suspension rig, i like that it exposes every part of my body so nothing is safe, it highlights my vulnerablility and also fear...fear turns me on a a 'i really dont want this whilst its happening, but i know i will revel in it afterwards' sort of way.

2)  I am not fond of licking up his cum, i dont mind swallowing it directly, but its an expectation that wherever he cums im required to clean it up...i will try to avoid this...i know bad slave!

3)  Aside from having needles in my tits,or having them bound tight, tit torture is not my most favourite thing, or rather i dont handle it very well, im a wimp in this respect, unfortunately its something he enjoys a lot...go figure!

4)  if given a choice between sex and lots of orgasms, or a beating with no orgasms...i would opt for the beating

5)  I would really like to do long term captivity/being kept in the cage for at least 24 hours, only let out to be used

6)  i have this long term wish of wanting to put pin prick holes in the inflatable butt plug, what stops me is the threat of something much larger being shoved up my ass, im ok with it up to 3 pumps..any more and its unbearable

Monday, 4 May 2015

Sit your ass down here!

Kink of the week is...

Face sitting/queening.  Normally associated with Femdom relationships, so i wasnt sure how to work with this, but where there is will there is a way!  not limited to just pussy is it?

I love licking his ass, whether it be him sitting on my face or on a rare occasion using the chair..

Obviously it would be him sat in the chair, and i sit underneath it, on that little metal bit, which works rather well, if i recall the last time we used the chair for that purpose, whilst i was licking his ass, he had me spread my legs so he could flog my pussy..which was rather distracting :)

On an even more rarer occasion he will tell me to sit on his face, and he will lick my pussy, thats not to say its rare that he does lick me down there, but usually not in that position, not that i care, hey im getting my pussy not going to complain how its done or who by!

A while back i came across an article about how face sitting could be dangerous!!!!  suffocation? really? for me the only annoying thing is getting a pubic hair stuck in between ones teeth!

In fact the idea of it stifling ones breath, just makes it all the more hotter, especially if he is sat astride my face pushing his cock down my throat....that is a form of face sitting is it not?  oh i love that, to be bound, helpless, struggling to take it but having no choice but to.

Although i have been with other woman, i have not had a woman sit on my face, its been a case of my head being shoved between their legs, however i do find it appealing to experience it, to be forced to endure it, that for me is what would do it for me.

Im quite sure, well i know, he would also find that extremely appealing!

*i know i have comments to reply to...on it tomorrow*