Tuesday, 19 May 2015

Life begins...

I love that quote.

I turn 40 later this year, my children are trying to convince me to have a huge party, its not going to happen, im not really a party person, well definitely not my own that is.

Anyway, i had just turned 30 when i met Master and as i have confessed on here before i bawled my eyes out when i turned 30..yes i know very sad lol.....but im ok (at the moment) about the thought of turning 40, its just a number right?  My 20's was a mixture of highs and lows, got married, had my children, marriage fell apart, worked doing something i loved, made a lot of mistakes, but learnt a lot.

On the brink of turning 40 i can look back at the last decade and be happy and content that taking the risk of pursuing D/s was worth it, yes some might say i should have worked harder at my marriage, thought of my children, but the marriage was falling apart pretty much from the start....we simply, no, not we, it was me, i, married for the wrong reasons.

When my son turned 18, one of his gifts from me was journals that i had kept since he was a few weeks old, where i would jot down moments from his childhood, although i didnt write in it everyday all the time, i made an entry at least every week, up to his 18th...he loved it, i also am doing the same for my daughter.

This blog journals most of my relationship with Master, not all, as it was started quite a while after we got together, and i keep a handwritten journal as well, which is more private, both document the highs and lows.

Some of my earlier posts are cringeworthy....omg did i really think that? say that?..umm yes i did! i should have joined Fetlife back then, i would have fitted right in with my uber slaveness superiority :) now i guess as the years have gone by im more jaded, but its good for a giggle.

Which brings me to the point...yes i do take a while to get to the point!

In life, as we age.experience, evolve or whatever, its ok to change opinion, heck i have, not just within ttwd but so many things, so when someone comments on an old, really old post and points out that it contradicts what i have said recently, thats fine, because yes once i thought being a slave was all about how many times i got whacked about, treated cruelly etc....and then i aged, experienced, evolved, whatever....and now i think its more about the psychological, in fact the physical imo has nothing to do with it.


  1. 40 is definitely nothing to worry about, I too cried on my 30th and hated the whole thing but 40's were better and 50's, well...... But you know that for me.

    I love to read your blog because it is about real life and even in these early days of my slavery I can see that the psychological aspects are what are important, that and being in a sound relationship in the first place. Enjoy this year xx

    1. You are having a great time, proof that its never too late or one is never to old...not that im saying your old lol

      thank you


  2. Great reflective post Tori. Our views and opinions do change over time as we grow and experience life. I was definitely not a happy camper when I turned 30 or 40 lol.


  3. Hi Tori,

    I must confess, I bawled my eyes out on my 29th as I saw it as the end of an era. Of course, I knew I was acting like a baby, but I didn't care! I was mourning the end of my twenties a year too soon.