There is a family wedding coming up in June, so yesterday i went out with my mother to buy an outfit, i dont really need a new outfit, i have perfectly nice dresses, but with things the way they are with my mother, i was going to make the effort.
We went to a boutique, the saleswoman brought out a beautiful dress, remarking that with the nice slender figure i have it would be complimentary (yeah well she's on commisson!) my mother at this point interjected 'she was really fat, shamelessly so, its only because she is diabetic that she is thin, a blessing in disguise'
I felt humiliated, i felt sorry for the sales woman who was clearly embarrassed, my mother just couldnt understand how what she said was hurtful, i should know better by now!....i came home, didnt get the dress.
When i met Master, i was a uk size 16/18, yes overweight but not grossly obese, i wanted to lose some weight but i wasnt obsessive about it, Master has never made me feel any less than sexy and desirable, and although i was at times concious about my weight, it was an issue i had with myself, he never put pressure on me to lose weight.
Now, im underweight, although i have put on 3 pounds over the last week and a half, not a lot to make a huge difference, but im just relieved to know im gaining not losing, i would like to put on a stone, or get to dress size 12/14 just to fill out a bit, get some curves back.
I was happy and content with the weight loss (until it got out of hand), i was more confident in wearing clothes that were short, or figure hugging, still have wobbly bits, but as Master commented..'we all have wobbly bits'.
Besides i need a fatter ass, i swear the reason i havent been able to take a hard caning like i used to, is because there is not enough padding there anymore!
Tori, that is horrible. I am so sorry you had that experience.
ReplyDeleteListen to your Master.
Ignore your mother..easier said than done, I know but ignore her.
It was horrible Bleuame, but perhaps the worst is i shouldnt get upset, its par for the course with my mother.
DeleteI try to ignore her, but it hurts, but yeah im getting better at dealing with it.
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i hope you don't mind but, I want to slap your mom. Seriously.
ReplyDeleteMine has never made me feel bad about my body either, even after pregnancy weight. It is so nice to know, no matter what size, he finds me attractive. But thank goodness that baby weight is (pretty much) gone. Lol.
lol, i dont mind at all, i wish someone would!
DeleteIt took me ages to lose the baby weight, unfortunately i was complacent and thats perhaps why i never got back to being what i was before i had my daughter...im not very disciplined lol
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So sorry Tori. Sometimes I just don't understand why people feel they have the right to say whatever crap comes into their head! Unfortunately, my mom is much the same.
ReplyDeletethank you little girl, no i dont understand it either, and worse is when they really cant understand why people get upset with them!
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I'm so sorry you had that experience Tori, I don't understand why people say such hurtful things. What counts is what you feel comfortable with.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
thanks Roz
DeleteI should be used to it, i know that doesnt sound positive, but its just typical of my mother!
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tori, I'd like to cane the mess out of your mom! Who says shit like that?
ReplyDeleteHugs!
lol so would i..unfortunately its the way she has always been and i cant see her changing now.
Deletex
My mother is the same way. I think she doesn't process how her words will be taken. She says them as fact, and is always surprised when I get upset or hurt. Sir used to get really mad and react poorly to her comments, but it just made things worse. Now he just ignores her and we both move past it a lot quicker.
ReplyDeleteI am sorry you were embarassed like that though. And I am glad that you are working toward a healthy weight loss. Good luck with the ass. I lost my baby weight quickly, but it all disappeared from my butt. I still have a tummy and hips, but taking a beating is hard.
Good luck! And I bet you will look great in whatever you wear to the wedding.
thanks CM
Deleteits difficult isnt it? im conflicted because she is my mum and i want to keep trying, i dont want to give up on her, but at the same time i dislike her a lot....i think its only because of my children that i keep her in my life.
i do think i have been struggling to take a beating because of the weight loss....need more padding lol
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