Saturday, 30 May 2015

His sadism, my masochism

Hope this gives a bit more insight His slut as per your comment "I just wish you would share more scenes as I'm super intrigued on your degree of masochism, how you nurture His sadism and encourage Him to push both you and Himself"

*This post had turned into a longer post than intended lol*

As i briefly said in my reply, there are somethings im not willing to share because im uncomfortable in doing so, to elaborate on that its for numerous reasons,  i dont want to risk unwelcome judgy comments questioning safety, my welfare, that its not SSC, and what a cruel bastard he is....although i wouldnt argue with calling him a cruel bastard!

But also, writing about scenes we have isnt something that i really get a lot out of, and somethings i simply prefer to keep private....oh and yes i do worry about what people will think....i know, i know, i shouldnt.

My degree of masochism is variable, dependent on many factors, when im asked "how much pain can you take?" its like saying "how long is a piece of string?" when on form, in the right mood, right circumstances etc i can happily take a severe caning or whipping where it leaves raised welts and the skin is cut and bleeding.

But yet there also times where it can be a few strokes in and im begging him to stop, and im not coping very well at all, sometimes im just not simply in the mood for s/m at all and therefore not receptive to it, not that this deters him! when he is in the mood, im getting it like it or not.

Aside from impact implements, we enjoy various activities, i like what i call more torture based s/m...clover clamps on nipples and labia with weights added one by one, and then being made to move, usually with encouragement from the whip or cane, i love needles, the sharpness as they pierce the skin, the blood from them...blood is a huge turn on for me.

hmm ok, well, there isnt a lot that i havent tried that i have wanted to and some that i havent wanted to but have lol, as for him well lets just say he has been dabbling with s/m etc for over 30 years and some of what he has said about his past dabblings are things i have no wish to experience (too extreme) and are best left off the blog!

I think i shall use his words from a Q&A session a few years ago to give an insight into how his mind works in respect of my masochism...

 Generally, I am very happy for her to go into sub space when she is being caned.  I like to see her bleed, and I enjoy administering the cane, so what's not to like.  There are times; however, when i prefer to see suffering.  I like to see the pain in her face, and watch her trying to control it, for me.  I like to see her cry, and to see her scared, worried about what will happen next.  Sometimes, I like to administer many different sorts of pain at once.  In particular, I like to see her writhe under the whip.  I love the marks the whip makes, and the bruises and welts that come later.  This is particularly true of using the whip on her back and breasts. 

My decision on how far to push her, will be based on previous experience, with that type (or specific) activity.  If she's clearly having trouble with something, I may slow it down, or take a break, but she always gets what I have decided she will take.  I am a sadist, and for me, pushing her hard like this, perhaps beyond where she thought she could go, is a real turn-on.  There's more to 'edge-play' than knives or breathing restrictions.  All activities in BDSM have edges for an individual, and each individuals edges will differ.  Tori knows that sometimes she will be pushed way beyond her comfort zone, or perhaps that should be her discomfort zone.  She may scream, cry, beg and frequently call me all sorts of names.  Afterwards, she delights in what she has achieved, her marks, the lingering pain, and frequently wants to be taken there again! 

His sadism far exceeds my masochism, i know, as does he, that i could not handle his worst, this used to bother me, but he has over the years assured me that im enough for him, although there are times i sense his frustration that he has to stop before he has wanted to.

So im inclined to say his sadism does not need nurturing, although we do feed off of one another, there are moments when he may be hurting me and i hold eye contact with him, i can see his enjoyment, his passion and that in turn spurs me to want to take more for him.

He likes it a lot when i ask, well, preferably beg him to hurt me, especially if its for something im not keen on, that tends to get him motivated and encourages him when he might not be particularly in the mood, of course sometimes he might say no!

He encourages me by using what i call emotional blackmail  "be a good girl and take some more for me" or "6 more then you can have my cock", or by using his fingers on my pussy, bringing me so very close, and then withdrawing to continue the torture, which usually then brings me to climax.

But mostly we have fun, we both are getting enjoyment from it, im a giggler and its not uncommon to me to have a fit of giggles when it might not seem like i should be, most recently was when he was whipping my stomach and thighs, i looked over to him and started laughing, he just commented "I can go harder" which just made me laugh more...and the fun really starts.


  1. This was great Tori. Thank you for sharing and giving us more insight into you and your Master. It's hard to not worry about what others may think, even though we know we shouldn't.


    1. Thanks Roz

      It is hard, and i wish i didnt, but well its just the way i am.


  2. I like your thoughts and his insights combined in this post. And I do understand you dont want to share all with everyone. Its not like you can trust eveyone out there :)

    1. thank you Mr Midas

      I find it difficult to talk about everything, and yes i worry, perhaps unnecessarily so about how much information i put out here.


  3. I do that giggling thing too- at a certain point when it hurts so much all I can do is laugh. I love your Master's words. Got me kinda hot reading that. :)

    1. Its always nice to hear others that do the giggling thing, i wonder if its nerves, fear...and the giggling is compensating (if thats the right word) for that.

      lol the first time i read those words i cringed, now im well yeah more ok with it


  4. Thanks for the insight. I appreciate it!