Sex and control

Kathy over at www.sheandhim.blogspot.com asked

"What is the most embarrassing moment before/during/after sex, you can remember?"

This is going to be a cop out answer, but really the best one i have is a time we was walking back from town, took a short cut through a public park, it was late at night, stopped to give him a  blowjob (and to be his urinal), and he observed someone with a dog, stood by the trees watching....i was mortified, embarrassed...he thought it was funny!


So sex.

I dont talk about it a lot, its not high up there on my list of whats important in our relationship, i enjoy it, we have a great sex life, i never used to have a high sex drive, but since he reduced the amount of times i get to orgasm...its changed, which i didnt expect.

It can be weeks, and sometimes months before he allows me release, i never imagined it would be something i would like, but i do, i love it, its the control more than anything that does it for me, and that it keeps me focused on the fact that it is about his pleasure, his satisfaction, and simply that its about his needs not mine.

Thats not to say that im always happy about it, i get moments where i long for an orgasm, and im not allowed to ask for one, sometimes i try and work around that, which generally is not a good idea!  but for the most part orgasm denial has become a kink that i wouldnt want to not have....if he let me cum whenever i wanted, it would be a novelty at first, but one that i would tire of fast.

Yes, its about the control, that is my biggest love, the lack of it i have.  I dont need to have orgasms to enjoy sex, i enjoy pleasing him that is far more satisfying, to simply be used to sate his needs, so i guess its also about objectification as well, which i also love.

For us, being his slave means that i dont have 'rights' to anything, what i am allowed to do or have is what he allows me, naturally this includes orgasms, the fantasy of this is somewhat appealing, the reality of it is another matter....but yet for me M/s is not about the great sex or how many orgasms im getting so its perhaps why i dont consider it important.