I have often felt it a weakness that i am dependent on him, where i feel so very vulnerable, that i need his approval, i need his attention, i need his control, i simply need him.
It goes against what i had fought so hard to not allow to happen, that no way could i let someone get so close that my emotions would be so easily exposed, because if you let someone tear down the walls, you leave yourself open, vulnerable and at the risk of being hurt.
But surrendering to him is not a weakness, and nor is it solely about me, i belong to him, but he also belongs to me, he is as emotionally invested in us just as much as i am, its often easy to forget that, i need him and he needs me.
In this we are equals, although the power exchange implies otherwise, and certainly there is inequality in our relationship, its taken both of us to knock down each others walls, to expose ourselves to one another, to know things about one another that have never been shared with others, and by doing so we are stronger together.
This was beautiful.
ReplyDeletethank you very much
Deletex
Beautiful tori! It's not about weakness it's about strength.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
mouse
thank you mouse, yes it is, and sometimes i forget that!
Deletex
I am with mouse, it takes strength to be the person you are and that he is xx
ReplyDeleteyes and its something that tends to not be thought of when one thinks of surrendering.
Deletex
Wonderful post Tori, and beautifully said. You're right, it's not about weakness, it's about strength. It's so easy to forget that this lifestyle makes them just as vulnerable.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
thank you Roz
Deletei think it is easy to forget about the dominants being just as vulnerable, its not really a topic that is broached much!
x
My husband understood this from the start. It took me a long way around to really understand it. You've nailed it, and beautifully.
ReplyDeleteIts taken me a long time, i do perhaps feel a little selfish to think that im the only one of us that has these feelings, not that i dismiss how he feels but more that its been about me, my emotions than his!
Deletethank you gg
x
Hi Tori! Actually working on a post about vulnerability myself. I think for me, I have grown more accepting of my vulnerability to Heron, but but in pursuing new "interests" this has definitely created some issues I didn't see coming.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
Hugs to you
thank you
DeleteI have read your post, and just about to set off on my rounds of blog commentating lol
x
Clearly, I wasn't quick enough to comment and missed something.
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say: I think it's totally awesome of you that you tried the cake-baking thing, when it isn't your forte and you persisted and put in so much effort!