Tuesday, 22 September 2015

Blinking cursor

"I don't mind you showing initiative" he said.

So I have been, perhaps pushing my luck a bit, I think he might be regretting saying those words, give me an inch I will take a mile.

But the thing is, I am crap at showing initiative, well, to be more specific in the bedroom that is.

I know what he likes, and I stick to what I know, I rarely, and I mean really rarely, can probably count on one hand the amount of times I have initiated sex and to a certain extent took the lead, I suppose in doing so, pushes me out of my comfort zone.

He said I could choose one thing I would like him to do to me, and one thing I would like to do to him (within reason), it's funny how I bet that within reason is more restricted on what I would like to do him!

I chose wax for myself, we haven't played with wax for a long time, and I can't even remember if I like it or not, well, it depends on where the wax is going really.

I had to ponder, for a long while, on what I would like to do to him, because I already do what I like to do him...it's in my comfort zone, I know he likes it!

So I thought, ice, ice would be interesting, on him, had it on myself, could be fun!

I told him what my choices were and he was fine with that...good start!

He said "wax on your pussy will be interesting" in a taunting sort of way.

to which I replied "ice up your ass will be interesting too...you know, just showing some initiative"

Yea, I think he is regretting those words.


It's obvious I suppose, that I have really been struggling with keeping this blog going, and yet I miss it, so that should give me the kick up the ass that I need, anyway clearly I needed a harder ass kicking and I got one!

Friday, 4 September 2015

Back to normal....ish/ooh and a bit of kink

The holidays are over, daughter is back to school today, although I have yet to understand the point of going back on a Friday! my son, having got the results he needed is off to uni in 2 weeks, so it's been a really hectic last couple of weeks, getting prepared for that, but mostly just spending time all together, which has been lovely.

But it's nice to get back into some sort of routine, more time to get back to blogging more regularly, i hate to think how long it's been since a kink post!

I shall rectify that right now :)

Well, more of an observation/reflection really.

A friend of mine, and her husband decided to try swinging, way back earlier in the year and really enjoyed the experiences, and are well into it now, and we have had some laughs as she describes some of the encounters, but, getting to the point, she was taken aback when I said it was something I had no interest in.

"but your kinky" she exclaimed!!!


Why is it, it is often assumed that being kinky must mean 'up for anything', screwing different men, whether I know them or not, is not something that appeals to me at all, not that i have anything against it, it just does not interest me.

I have not had sex with another man, since being with Master, i prefer to be monogamous, that does not mean that he has to be, although he has not had sex with any other woman, he could and I would have to deal with it, would I like it? well that's another matter entirely.

I have reflected on this a fair bit, going from completely against it, to the point that should he decide that's what he wanted, to have sex with another, I would have to think very carefully if I could continue as we are to am i a failure as a slave for thinking that?  because surely my focus should be on that it gives him pleasure?  but at what expense?

Then the other part of me, the part i hate, but i have to admit its there, the thought of it appeals to my emotional masochistic side, i would have/need to know every detail, and that very thought turns me on, because i wouldnt want to watch, or even to participate, but to be blindfolded in the same room, to hear...fuck yes!