Saturday, 7 March 2015

Another commercial break

Shouldnt really, because got questions still to get to and i will, im enjoying it, blogger is exploding with it all, keeping up with others posts let alone my own is keeping me busy, but its good fun.

Goodness im posting so much, im making up for being away for a couple of months! but this is me done now until Tuesday, ok maybe Monday lol

Update on the rant post

So the sub finally texted me, yesterday, no, the day before that, anyway, bottom line is she doesnt want to talk to me because she doesnt like talking about her kink!  as i said to Master..what am i meant to talk to her about  I was abrupt in my reply to her.."fine, lets just leave it as it is"...because i cant be doing with trying to draw blood out of a stone.

Master being the voice of reason says "you were like that once" goodness sake, did you need to remind me of that, coz now i am feeling a little.....inconsiderate, not that i regret the post, hey thats part of what my blogs for!

Anyway, its left between Master and her dom to sort out, i no longer have any interest in wanting to know details, (that could be subject to change closer to the time if we meet up) as my daughter is prone to saying....whatever! (which is very irritating and i do tell her off for, people do say we are very alike!).

A few thoughts that have come to mind, which explains a fair bit is, they havent been together long, less than a year, they are bedroom kink only, role play dom and sub, and are play partners only, rather than being in a full-time relationship which i have determined from reading both their profiles on Fetlife.  Which to make clear i have no issue with at all, cant be all the same but they do appear very open minded in respect of kinky activities.

Jealousy did rear its ugly head, on my part, we have never played with anyone that is, oh bugger how to put this, well that play to the extent we do in regards of intensity, but theres a first time for everything right?  Im not on form with how much pain i can handle, havent been for a while, due to health issues, and it bothers me, what if i cant get back to where i was?

Which led to the whole "will you be disappointed if i cant take as much pain?" train of thought, no he wouldnt be, he assured me of that, but still it lingers, he's a sadist he needs and wants to give pain, the more the better.  I want it, crave it, so i still do desire it, thats not an issue at all, so being insecure like i am, im jealous that someone else could well give him what he needs in respect of his sadism.

Anyway, no point in dwelling on that, worrying over what may never be, nothing is set in stone on whether we meet them or anyone else.

On a positive note, he has agreed that if, when we do, i can go into it as i said about in previous post, which just knowing that is making me more relaxed about the whole thing, and more importantly which i hope he will be pleased about, im actually more enthusiastic about it..not enough that if given a choice i wouldnt do it, but still its progress and thats something right?

1 comment:

  1. Hi Tori, I think I can kind of understand her not wanting to talk about her kink. Sounds like leaving it to your Master and her Dom is the best idea. So glad you are feeling a bit better about it and that you and your Master have talked and he has agreed to let you go into in a way that makes you feel more comfortable.