His slut said http://thoughtsfromhisslut.blogspot.co.uk/2015/03/i-want-to-cum-to-it.html
"I don't often liked being called kinky. I guess because I don't understand why what I enjoy needs to be defined as such an 'outcasted' thing. Why such a difference between kink and vanilla? Your thoughts on why labels between the 'kink' world and 'vanilla' world?"
Im not sure i would use the term outcasted, if anything kink has become more acceptable as of late, perhaps due to the FSOG phenomenon its more acceptable than its ever been, people talk about it more, its not really a taboo like it used to be....of course depends on the kink! if anything its fashionable.
I think the difference is simply a matter of clarifying distinctions between those that are kinky and those that are not, but there are levels of kinkiness, but mostly what are we defining as kinky?
a dictionary definition
'unconventional sexual preferences or behaviour, fetishism, sadomasochism, or the like'
on the flip side how do we define vanilla from a bdsm point of view? have no dictionary definition so its just my opinion...
"those that have no inclination for kink, as defined above in dictionary definition"
I should say, that for me when i use the term vanilla it is not in any way meant as derogatory, its simply a term used for those that are not kinky.
Labels, love them or hate them, nevertheless they have their uses, they do provide i think a sense of clarity, even within the realms of ttwd, for example i could say..
"i enjoy ttwd" which is fine, but it doesnt tell you much, or i could say
"im a slave in a tpe dynamic" which says a lot more, simply by adding labels, it gives clarity (the only flaw with this logic is people may have different definitions of what these labels mean, but lets not over complicate it lol)
does that make sense though?
I have to agree. The label in and of itself isn't important. However, it does give someone on the outside a starting point to understand the dynamic.
ReplyDeleteThanks
DeleteYes, i like that thought, its a starting point.
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It absolutely makes sense. Given the various levels of kinkiness that are out there, we need the labels as a way to identify with one kinky spectrum or the other. Labels used to bother me, but having labels available to us makes finding our own way a little easier. For example I used to identify with just Dd. Now I have added ttwd, bdsm, Dd/lg to my favorable inclinations for things behind the bedroom door and outside of it.
ReplyDeleteKathy
thank you Kathy
DeleteI think labels bother most people at some point or another, i wander if its the idea of being put in a proverbial box and expecting to live up to what the label implies.
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Tori,
DeleteI do think that may be the case. We are such evolving beings that soon we outgrow the labels as we change through time.
hugs,
Kathy
I love your answer Tori and agree labels do help in understanding.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
thanks Roz
Deleteyes i do think they help, whether we like them or not lol
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When you put it that way, yes, I can see it from your perspective.
ReplyDeletecool, i wasnt sure if i had made it sound more complicated lol
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My Master and I were talking about what the results would be of a poll where we asked all our Facebook friends to rate themselves on a scale of 1-10 in terms of how kinky they were (we wouldn't really do that). Then we got into a discussion of "what is kinky" and how do you compare different things in terms of level of kinkiness anyway. There is no real answer, except maybe, like art "I know it when I see it".
ReplyDeleteYep there really isnt a real answer, the dictionary definition is all well and good, but what one person might call kinky another might...you know some people might see a blowjob as being kinky lol
Deletex
I personally think every person is kinky. It's just the level of kinkyness they think they have that limits what they want to be defined as. I have a friend who likes her hair pulled, her husband to take control during sex, and to be choked. To my definition that is kinky sex. Maybe not as kinky as others, but it is. I personally hate being choked. It just scares the hell out of me. I have allergies and a LOT of upper respiratory infections, though. I love the idea of it, but the reality of it makes me dry up. To each their own. I love over the knee spankings, being flogged, being tied up, him being in control of my sexuality. I define myself as kinky, she does not. It's all what you are comfortable with.
ReplyDeleteCrysania