mckitten wrote a post that resonated with me a lot...trying to link but getting a white page with error 501, getting it when i try to read others posts as well!
Duh.. why didnt i just do this is in the first place! www.pillowtalk.blogspot.com
As with a lot of things in ttwd, context plays an important part, i love (punishments aside) being treated harshly, cruelly even, what he says, how he treats me can be so humiliating, degrading, im left feeling like im nothing, that i mean nothing to him, other than a thing to be used for his amusement, my feelings being irrelevant, its about him, sating his needs....i love his aggressive ways.
I love all of this in the context of it being during play.
Outside of play, in the context of what he is like being my Master and how he is with me, he is demanding, strict, and he can be harsh, he expects my obedience and respect, and he deserves it.
Yes sometimes i falter, but i endeavour to behave as he likes, because he inspires me to want to because of how he treats me in an everyday way.
One of the things i have the utmost respect for him for is how he handles me generally, which is in a completely different contrast to how he does within play, for example there is never any "you fucking bitch you didnt do this etc" attitude, on the contrary, he is calm, reasonable, and authoritative in his tone, but no displays of anger or aggression, he is in control of himself even when he has perhaps reason to be pissed at me.
I need this balance, i need him to be calm and in control, im prone to having temper tantrums (as hard as that might be to believe lol) i dont need him throwing them as well, which is how i would see it if he was aggressive in his attitude...shouting, swearing at me for example, i respond better when he is calm, because thats what calms me.
He is dominant, he is a sadist, he is controlling, he is demanding, but he is also a gentleman, and he may treat me like a dirty worthless slut at times, but yet also very much like a lady.
Its all about context.
It just makes so much sense. I believe that this allows my husband to be who he really is - He's not generally a loud, chest-thumping, out of control ass. But he does want to be listened to, obeyed. He gets that now. And he gets to express his more intense, harsher, sadistic, darker side also. He never could before. It works out pretty well for both of us.
ReplyDeleteim laughing at your loud, chest-thumping, out of control ass..comment
DeleteBut yes! thats how i see it, if one cannot control their temper etc then they shouldnt be in control of someone else.
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My Master explained it this way: Display of temper/shouting/bashing around wildly is the opposite of control and dominance. The more in control of himself he is the more he inspires respect and is in control of me. Cool, calm, self assured control is dominance and leadership to him, not volume. I really respect that.
ReplyDeleteYes, very much so, couldnt agree more.
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You and I have very much in common girl. While Sarah can be demanding and controlling, for me that is in private and between he and I. He doesn't treat me as less than, he would never humiliate me in front of others. However I like objectification and humiliation in the confines of our playtime for our private time. And thank God he doesn't have the temper I have or our house would be demolished. Like you said he combs me when I need to be called and he controls when I need that to.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
Hugs, Fiona
lmao
DeleteIm guessing you wrote this comment on a mobile phone? but yes to everything you said.
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hahahahah...damn autocorrect and phones. Yes, sorry.
DeleteSo very true! Context is absolutely everything.
ReplyDeletethank you...i believe it is also.
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Hi Tori, great post and I agree, it's all about context. There is a vast difference in the way he treats me in the bedroom and generally.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz