mckitten wrote a post that resonated with me a lot...trying to link but getting a white page with error 501, getting it when i try to read others posts as well!
Duh.. why didnt i just do this is in the first place! www.pillowtalk.blogspot.com
As with a lot of things in ttwd, context plays an important part, i love (punishments aside) being treated harshly, cruelly even, what he says, how he treats me can be so humiliating, degrading, im left feeling like im nothing, that i mean nothing to him, other than a thing to be used for his amusement, my feelings being irrelevant, its about him, sating his needs....i love his aggressive ways.
I love all of this in the context of it being during play.
Outside of play, in the context of what he is like being my Master and how he is with me, he is demanding, strict, and he can be harsh, he expects my obedience and respect, and he deserves it.
Yes sometimes i falter, but i endeavour to behave as he likes, because he inspires me to want to because of how he treats me in an everyday way.
One of the things i have the utmost respect for him for is how he handles me generally, which is in a completely different contrast to how he does within play, for example there is never any "you fucking bitch you didnt do this etc" attitude, on the contrary, he is calm, reasonable, and authoritative in his tone, but no displays of anger or aggression, he is in control of himself even when he has perhaps reason to be pissed at me.
I need this balance, i need him to be calm and in control, im prone to having temper tantrums (as hard as that might be to believe lol) i dont need him throwing them as well, which is how i would see it if he was aggressive in his attitude...shouting, swearing at me for example, i respond better when he is calm, because thats what calms me.
He is dominant, he is a sadist, he is controlling, he is demanding, but he is also a gentleman, and he may treat me like a dirty worthless slut at times, but yet also very much like a lady.
Its all about context.