Im worrying about my ability to give You what you want, i want to be able to take as much pain as You choose to give me but im scared i wont be able to, i know i dont have a safeword and i have no regrets in giving it up and as of yet there has not been an occassion where i would have used it if i had it still, so im confident in my abilty to be able to take a certain amount of pain even the bloody whip that i detest at the time its used i do enjoy the sensations afterwards.
We talked about the issues of jealousy, and no im not jealous at the prospect of You having sexual activity with someone else, but im jealous that someone else will be able to take the amount of pain that i know You enjoy giving that im not able to at the moment. Im scared that if this happens i wont be enough for You anymore, i know im being irrational and i believe You when you say You wont leave me but i guess im feeling a bit down, i miss You as your away and am unable to talk to You about my feelings as right now i just need Your reassurance.
Im scared of how i feel to the point that i just want to endure anything You put me through because i need You.
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