Im up to 7 strokes now so am not feeling as positive as what i was when i wrote earlier blog, im pretty much terrified at the prospect i seem to be having low and high moments in the last few days and this is definitley a low moment to the point im dreading meeting up its all i can focus on right now and not in a positive light.

I had forgotten some of the instructions He gave me yesterday regarding what i was to do whilst He is away for a fortnight, so am posting them here as a reminder to myself i dont want to and i feel pissed off that He is making me.

i am to practice deepthroating on a cucumber for 15 mins per day

i am to fuck myself in the cunt and ass with cucumbers, increasing depth each time

whilst i am doing the above i am to have nipple clamps attached

i am to text Him when i have finished

When the punishment was first decided (thanks to topaz, and yes im being sarcastic) i said to her afterwards that it would end up being more than 3, not because i knew i would do anything intentionally to add to them but because i knew He would pick up on everything i say or do to add to them.

Im also hurt and annoyed that He suggested that if anymore were to be added He may well have to get someone else in to apply them, He promised me that no-one else would get to punish me its something that is important to me and a definite no-no so it upset me when He mentioned it.

Anyway i have been made to post the instructions and i have, this blog was meant to be for me to come to freely and openly when i liked and now i feel like its being used as a tool to humiliate me.