Friday, 7 September 2007

acting up

I get times when i seem to act up and i dont know why because if i go too far it tends to result in me being subjected to something unpleasant, He threatened me with holly the other day as in putting it in my underwear, now that does not sound nice even in a not nice way, i wasnt being enthuastic about licking my fingers after having them in my cunt in fact i tend to be very blunt towards Him which im aware of and if im honest its intentional, a bit like a teenager stomping loudly up the stairs when there not getting there own way.

Had a brief interesting conversation with a friend online last night and it came up about subs/slaves disobeying to seek attention and the person in question said that this is common and normal behaviour, i can understand this but as the attention i get is not nice at all if i disobey it is not something i think i would conciously provoke. However im concious that maybe i have pushed Him sometimes not to invoke punishment intentionally but to test the boundries, find out what He will say/do (usually ends with me being very sorry and regreful), i dont think though i do it for attention i much prefer to have His attention in a positive aspect than negative. I have picked up that i sometimes get a "Hmm" from Him and usually i think this is when im maybe going just a little too far, although i maybe wrong.

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