Im disappointed with myself, i was so determined to get to the weekend with Him without any punishments due i wanted it to be a positive weekend and now its tainted through my own fault. I was supposed to contact Him at a set time but logged onto the internet and was talking to topaz and she is so easy to talk to that i lost track of time completley and i forgot, and even worse when He popped up online i still didnt remember until He reminded me, saying He wasnt amused would be an understatement i think.
I knew as soon as He reminded me that i had forgotten i would be punished and i know i deserve it what i didnt expect was when He told me to ask topaz how she thought i should be punished, it fit the occassion i guess, i was talking to her when i should have been talking to Him. I felt humiliated and not in a nice way having to ask her and it was just my luck that we had only moments early talked about me and her that is about being caned without a warmup and how i had never had that before and it wasnt something i wanted either, and yes i couldnt believe it that was what she suggested (revenge will be sweet topaz, as i know you will read this lol), and to top it off i had to thank her for suggesting the punishment.
The only saving grace was she suggested 3 strokes which is bad enough but if left to Him i think it would have been more, He said that i will recieve them as soon as we meet up and when He arrives im to be in position and ready to receive them im not going to find this easy as it will have been a while since i have seen Him i would rather have started off with a kiss and a cuddle. Im going to brood on it for a while now because the thought of it scares me so far i admit i have gotten off reasonable lightly with punishments but this isnt going to be light at all, and He is so cold when im being punished i hate it yet i know thats the whole point im not meant to enjoy any aspect of it.
Im also concious of the fact that im going to have to be extra careful until we meet up not to behave in any way to add to the strokes, and 3 may not seem a lot to many but it is to me i have never been caned without a warmup and have never received really hard strokes and these will be, i suspect He will draw blood. I do though fully accept and understand why im being punished and that it is deserved, this doesnt make it easier and i know that i will most likely when the time comes try and beg to get out of it but He wont back down and i dont want Him to because i need the security of knowing He will do what He says He will.
No comments:
Post a Comment