One website i used to enjoy reading and contributing to on occassion was InformedConsent which has now closed, well its still there but its more aimed at activism, the owner of the site and many of the people that were on it have moved to Fetlife. I was sorry to see it go, it was the UK's largest bdsm orientated site, it was small and because it was it had more of a 'community' feel to it, but mostly in a sentimental way for me personally, it was where i 'met' the bossman.....where he seduced, stalked and consequently corrupted me....just to add a flair of drama! i was happy to be corrupted!
I tried Fetlife, perhaps i didnt give it long enough but it just wasnt for me, perhaps as was pointed out by someone on there its that 'im not a team player', because i dared to give an opinion that the 'group' did not agree with...umm even though apparently "different opinions are always welcome as long as expressed respectfully"..something to that effect...well yes they were welcome as long as the group owner and their posse agreed with it.
I do admit im not one for joining 'groups' (online that is) and thats probably why Fetlife was not for me, there are so many of them its actually mind boggling..groups for slaves, masochists, property, unowned slaves, subs with big tits, skinny subs...i swear there is probably a group for everything you can come up with..and if there isnt you can make your own....maybe i should make one and call it "i hate being put into a bloody pigeonhole" but then that would rather defeat the point.
However as i didnt 'investigate' every single group going i wont tar them all with the same brush, thats unfair.
Anyway what i was going to write about seems to have morphed into something else (that happens a lot), what i remember of one of the groups was this submissive making a post that she was struggling with aspects of her slavery and was asking for advice, she got some, but she also got ridiculed...coz clearly being a submissive/slave means that everything should always run smoothly or whats so difficult about submitting..and other 'helpful' comments, and having recently had 'issues' myself it made me think about that....i think i will leave that for another post on another day, as this is my second one today....gosh this cutting my hours at work is giving me too much time to think!
tori,
ReplyDeleteI agree with your assessment of FL and so do many of my kinky friends. I am on FL as a member of many groups but do not actively participate in discussions. In the beginning, I commented on many topics at first. However, I soon stopped reading discussions and usually do not add comments. Like you, I was annoyed by the bad behavior of many of the people who commented and the way people looking for advice were ridiculed.
Now, I use FL to learn about BDSM activities in my area. For me, it is just a bulletin board for posting events and often I use it to message friends.
I prefer the blogger community for serious discussions of important topics.
Hug,
joey
Yes i find blogger is a much more friendlier place for the most part, there is very little of looking down on people because of who they are and what they enjoy.
DeleteIm sure FL must work for some as it is very popular, its just not for me.
x
Yes I read about IC demise with a little sadness. Before I met my husband I used to visit the website but I never plucked up the courage to join. What I did learn from IC was the variety of people in the UK practising TTWD. Different ages, locations and preferences. It made me feel less isolated and there were lots of useful links. I suppose it was the start of my voyage - a very slow sedate journey I'm still navigating.
ReplyDeleteI joined FL, looked at it and didn't look again - as you say too many categories and snarky comments. I prefer blogland.
I enjoyed IC, it did contain a wealth of information, and gosh yes its the first site i came accross when i realised my desires and i found it so helpful.
DeleteYep im with you blogland is better.
x
i too was on IC and Fetlife but like you im not one for joining groups, i was on a local site too very small and had that community feeling about it but it closed down too, everything was looked over by the owner and i didnt like that...felt he was poking his nose in where it wasnt wanted...but like joey i too think our little land of bloggers is a nice group of peeps.
ReplyDeleteblossom x
Oooh thats a shame i didnt know that earlier lol
DeleteSome groups im sure are different, but my experiences of FL was not positive and i have no inclination to give it another go...definitly stick with blogland!
x
Ooh, twice in one day, send me some of that inspiration!
ReplyDeletelol lil,
Deletei have cut my hours at work, and there is only so many times one can clean the house and do general chores..the downside is i think i may need weaning off blogger..umm just a bit.
x
I am active on Fetlife, and have found certain groups of people that I mesh easily with, and other groups that I join, read for a while and then drop out of. Just not my cup o tea. The place I originally discovered online BDSM was The Library, and that has now shut down and people moved to Fetlife, just like your original smaller site.
ReplyDeleteancilla, i know you enjoy it and obviously so many others do as well, perhaps its my insecurity or lack of confidence or just coming accross the wrong groups for me..but it was just all too much.
Deletex
the only group i belong to is here blogland...and its awesome - new friends every day who understand and relate to me and sir and issues that we go through...we each listen and help and resepct one another...i love it, i love you guys here in blogland...I dont think you coudl do better than here :)
ReplyDeletei couldnt have put it better myself lol..yes people are more accepting, welcoming and helpful here in blogland.
Deletex