Monday, 4 March 2013

It came, i went and i did not conquer

I didnt do the 'talk' for work.  I was throwing up with nerves this morning, a fellow teacher took sympathy on me when i turned up and she saw the state i was in and she did it for me...i feel a complete incompetent lousy failure.

Im not enjoying my job very much at all at the moment, its becoming more focused on reaching targets set by the government, mountains of pointless paperwork and children are treated as statistics, rather than being seen as the individuals they are.

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16 comments:

  1. dancingbarez4 March 2013 at 17:53

    So Sorry Tori....you have done things to change the lives of children and are NOT a failure.

    Deep down you know that and we all do too.

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    1. tori6 March 2013 at 11:12

      i know but i just wanted to beat that fear and i couldnt...feeling sorry for myself thats all

      x

      Delete
  2. Anonymous4 March 2013 at 18:22

    tori,

    You had the courage to go into work despite the nervous feeling you had. You are not a failure!!!!!!

    Mountains of paperwork. Yikes.

    You are brave and wonderful! Cheer up.

    Hug,
    joey

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    1. tori6 March 2013 at 11:13

      thanks joey

      I confess im feeling sorry with myself and should focus on the aspects of enjoyment i do get out of it.

      x

      Delete
  3. blossom4 March 2013 at 20:13

    awe tori, sorry to hear how ill that made you feel...not worth it...you give so much more in other ways that mean much much more than giving a presentation. dont be sad it can happen to the best of us...smiles

    hugs
    blossom x

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    1. tori6 March 2013 at 11:14

      thanks blossom

      deep down i knew i wouldnt be able to do it, was making me a nervous wreck..im just a little tad disappointed that i was unable to get past that fear.

      x

      Delete
  4. Storm4 March 2013 at 21:42

    I'm sorry to hear it was so crappy and stressful. Don't beat yourself up about it too much.

    On the bright side, you ended up not having to go through with it, and you're still plenty conquered at home, so you don't really have to go out conquering anyways!

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    1. tori6 March 2013 at 11:15

      lol thanks lil...tiny bit upset still that i was unable to do it but yeah conquering is so over-rated your right lol

      x

      Delete
  5. William5 March 2013 at 03:41

    Don't let the fact that the government sees them and you as statistics let you feel that way...Keep fighting the bastards

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    1. tori6 March 2013 at 11:16

      thanks William...i needed that kick up the ass

      x

      Delete
  6. julie5 March 2013 at 06:54

    So sorry you are having such a stressful time but glad your colleague stepped up. I am sorry about the way things are at work, it is the same in health. Just try to concentrate on the kids, I think that's all you can do right now xx

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    1. tori6 March 2013 at 11:17

      Yep you are right, i think most professions have the simlilar problems

      x

      Delete
  7. kiwigirliegirl5 March 2013 at 08:05

    sounds awful tori, sorry you are going through such a tough time at work - work takes a big chunk of our lives doesnt it. dont beat yourself up about not doing the talk...public speaking is not for everyone...at least you were willing to give it a go...id have downright refused.

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    1. tori6 March 2013 at 11:17

      lol kiwi i did try to refuse but there was no one else to step in..i think the teacher who did it for me had no choice when she say the state i was in!

      x

      Delete
  8. AtiyaLuv5 March 2013 at 16:18

    first of all..
    a teacher have so many challenges as is, I teach Tori, and my sister is also a teacher...I know how you feel!
    There will be moments when we all hit a wall, at work, personal lives, etc., I am sure all this will pass.
    I am sorry this time is stressful, but all will work out in the end...you a strong woman! I admire you, respect you.
    Stay strong!!
    Hugs
    Aluv

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    1. tori6 March 2013 at 11:18

      thankyou Atiya

      Sometimes its just more stressful than it is at other times..well im sure you get that..i just wanted to beat that fear and i couldnt

      thanks

      x

      Delete

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