Monday 22 September 2014

Clarity

Now i know why i blog, writing things down, putting thoughts out...help.

I sat here reading through my last post over and over, and although my thoughts about it all have not changed so much, im trying to adapt a different approach, sticking to the facts, what i do know, in an attempt to not overthink and over analyse the situation.

I have been here before,everytime when we would get together with others, and bar one ocassion, i have come away from it satisfied, not always liked some parts of it....but as he felt the need to remind me "would you like choice?"

no, i dont.

so sticking to the facts

It is not for definite, although he is seriously considering it, so stop with the worrying about what may not come to happen.

If it does...

*  there are many elements of it that i know i will love

*  he will stop something from happening if he so much as gets a hint that its too much for me, i know this as he has done before, and i can safeword with others if needs be

*  when it has been something i have not liked/enjoyed, i have got off on having no choice, i love that he has that control over me....its conflicting though,when i want to hate him at the same time

*  i like and enjoy the company of this particular couple, dont know the others

*  my safety, emotional and physical well being will be his priority, he might not show it (he generally doesnt) but i know thats what will be first in his mind at all times

* one of my fantasies may be made reality, watching him dominate another man......that would make it all worth it, the male sub wants to try forced bi......Master has done this before, he says its different, only in that it does nothing for him on a sexual level...but oh my...to see a man on his knees sucking his cock.....mmmm thinking about it does it for me...damn that im not allowed to masturbate!



12 comments:

  1. Hi Tori,

    I just read your previous post and this one. I can certainly understand your concerns and am glad you are focusing on the facts and the positives. If it does happen you know your emotional and physical well being will be his priority.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Thanks Roz

      Yeah i needed to focus on the positives, rather than get my knickers in a twist over worst case scenarios...which im guilty of

      x

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  2. Love how you are putting this out there for to reread over and over.

    I'm not all about two men, just not my thing, but damn if I wouldn't love seeing Master dominate another male. I don't want to see Him dominate a female.

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    1. i need to read through things sometimes over and over to gain clarity, it usually works.

      Oh 2 men is a big turn on for me, dont know if he will or not...but im hoping so lol

      x

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  3. I have served other people and sometimes find it extremely fun, and other times difficult, and sometime fun during and then difficult to process afterward. And sometimes difficult during but extremely satisfying afterward. I just keep reminding myself that which ever way it goes, I would not be doing this if it were not what my Master wants. I am also very glad he watches out for me, and he lets me have a safeword so that if I am overwhelmed I can stop or slow it. This frees my mind from the worry of what if the other person does not read my signals like Master does. I have used the "yellow" slow down one a few times. In fact, when he lent me to female friend she was quite tough on me and I used it 3 or 4 times in one scene.

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    1. Yep i find it very difficult as you have probably worked out lol

      Its just not something that appeals to me, but well im focusing what i do know, and what i do know for sure makes it that bit easier, i know he will keep me safe.

      x

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  4. And now I know why I read other blogs...to learn and be inspired. Thank you

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    1. no, i thank you

      this means a lot to me, thank you

      x

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  5. I love the way you re-framed it all in just the facts - i get completely irrational tied up in what if's and my imagination - it's hard to see just the facts clearly sometimes. My husband's and hence my only real limit at this point is no one outside of us - so i haven't had to (or gotten to) contemplate this. I also admire the way you write about struggling with things, and finding the good of it all too - i bet this will be like that for you.

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    1. thanks ever so much gg

      Im terrribly guilty of loosing sense of reason, i tend to focus on worst possible scenarios because my initial reaction is one of fear, and not liking what is being asked of me,

      I needed to write this post to put things in perspective.

      x

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  6. Now you have a positive post to read over and over :)

    I say, if it happens, let yourself enjoy it...life is way too short...

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    1. i do indeed, thanks lol

      yep your right, i need to remember that

      x

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