Just read gg's post http://greengirl-whatiwonder.blogspot.co.uk/2014/09/the-flip-side.html, which i loved, and it made me think, as i said in the comment there, do i portray the bossman only as being this demanding, harsh and strict Master.
He is all of those, but he is much more, i guess i dont tend to let that come through here, i wander if sometimes what i post, as in the previous 2 posts perhaps make some people uncomfortable, on the day i posted about my panic over potentially meeting up with a couple....titled 'where to start; i lost 3 followers, not that this bothers me at all....but it made me wander about what people think....oh fuck, i know i shouldnt go down this path.
It doesnt matter what people think, well, some people it does matter to me, but lately i seem to be getting a lot of it, im controlled too much, its unhealthy, the s/m we engage in is sick and does not fit with SSC or RACK, im brainwashed, im a victim.....and all of these are bullshit, but perhaps im partly to blame because of the way i write, maybe it comes across that way.
I started this post with the intention of defending him, but im not going to, i dont need to, because i know him, i know us, and thats enough.
When Master set this blog up for me, it was for me to air my thoughts, no matter what they were, because i find it helpful, somewhere along the way i lost sight of that, and i wont censor my worries, problems, dramas etc as much as i wont stop writing about other random shit.
Because i would rather keep this real, through all the ups as well as the downs.
You go girl!
ReplyDeletethanks db....and it would be nice to see a post in your blog...been too long!
Deletex
you know what comes through the most? That you're a strong, independent woman with great self awareness.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the glimpse I get of your dynamic sometimes shows me something I personally wouldn't like or be comfortable with but so what? I'm pretty damn sure that you would be there if you didn't want to be.
Besides, if I only read blogs about dynamics exactly the same as mine (if that were even possible) then I would never learn anything new or pick up concepts and ideas that I didn't already know about and how dull would that be?!
thanks mc
Deletei know that this, what me and him do isnt for everyone, but yeah i like what you said, i like reading about different dynamics, relationship types, can always learn something new, and besides i like hearing different perspectives.
x
I love your blog for many reasons, but mostly because you keep it real.
ReplyDeleteFrankly, it's none of my business, nor is it anyone else's, to judge what you do--to make unnecessary assumptions. I think sometimes people only pick out the parts they want to read, they can't see past certain things, and that's their loss! I've learned a lot from you!
Maybe I'm brainwashed too because I haven't read anything here that has given me the impression you're not safe...Fuck all 'those' people!
thanks Misty
DeleteUnfortunately people do judge, i can deal with that, what i dont like is assumptions being made of something they clearly know nothing about.
but yep...fuck em lol
x
I don't think you need to censor or defend or any of that either. I heartily respect and enjoy hearing about your dynamic and relationship. And it is your blog, anyway.
ReplyDeletethanks ancilla
Deletei do try to shake it off, but sometimes, as on this occassion it got to me.
x
Tori, I agree with the others and you said it yourself ... you know him and "you". We know that what is shared on blogs are only snapshots of the overall picture and specific moments.
ReplyDeleteWhat you do is not what I do and to be honest, a lot of it would scare the crap out if me lol ... but that is why I love reading here. I think we learn a lot from each other and the fact that ttwd differs for all of us.
Hugs
Roz
thanks Roz
Deleteyep, i like that, snapshots, because thats all people are seeing.
its not for everyone what we do, but then would be very boring if we were all the same lol
x
tori,
ReplyDeleteThank you. I guess i don't understand in the least the impulse to read something then email a person to comment on it, criticize, or try to get a person to see the light. I love your blog, and i love that you write about your feelings about all of it. Frankly - (not that you set out to provide this service, nor have to) it is really good for me and i'm sure lots of other people to see how the hard stuff can be handled, and that the 's' should and does have thoughts, fears, and a learning curve - and so must the 'D'.
thanks gg
DeleteI seem to be lately getting a lot of it, and its weird because most of the comments are on older posts...going back years which i find strange.
But yes its helpful to me to write out thoughts, and if it helps anyone else in any way then thats great, because i know for me reading others blogs, gives me something to think about, different perspectives etc.
x
If I'm uncomfortable reading a blog, I don't visit it, it's that simple. Since I comment here from time to time, you can infer I'm happy to read here. There is no need to censor yourself, it's a reader choice to come here.
ReplyDeletehugs
DF
Yes thats my thoughts exactly, im guessing those followers i lost found me uncomfortable, and im ok with that, what i dont like is the need for people to make assumptions that im abused, brainwashed etc, its offensive to those that genuinely are in abusive relationships.
Deletex
Oh hon. I've been offline the last few days and missed the last couple of posts, but just went back and read them.
ReplyDeleteNo - you don't need to defend him. Or yourself. You come across as a very strong,healthy and wonderful slave/submissive. I had just got done commenting on Awkward Blue Frogs post about her being rather ticked off about reading forums and peoples views on SandM and etc. The abuse, us all being victims and etc. I'll tell you what I told her - some people are morons who just don't get it. But, that is on them... never you. You came to a brilliant realization here - that you in fact don't need to come on and defend your Master. Be proud of that. :)
I am disgusted that you lost followers over this. Again, all I can see is some people are morons. :P
The rest of us adore you, and your blog. Keep writing, keep keeping it real.. keep being you! Hugs! xx
thank you
DeleteMorons..yep thats a very apt description lol
I think a lot of the times its ignorance, they dont understand and they dont want to understand, its easier to knock and make judgement about something, than it is to try to learn more about it.
x
What everyone else said!
ReplyDeletethank you julie
Deletex
You never have to defend your Master, or yourself. You are who you are, and that's what makes you beautiful and beautiful together. Screw people who don't like it. I, for one, am very glad you keep it real, it's ine of the reasons I like reading your blog.
ReplyDeletexoxo
I'm late to reply to this, but I kept thinking that we all do this with our significant others. We always speak of a certain side of them to certain people. In vanilla life, I swear I only hear bad things about my girl friend's husbands. I have to remind them to tell me the good stuff too. The longer I live, the more I realize that I rarely have the whole story. My point being that I try never to judge. And you seem happier and better adjusted than most. So, carry on! :)
ReplyDelete