Oops sorry, got distracted with the 30 days thingy...what can i say..i get distracted easily
DomJuandemarco asks (love the nic btw)
"Im new to being dominant, and I'm enjoying reading your blog, I have been with my slave for 3 months, I have all these scenarios and scenes I want to do with her, reading here has given me much inspiration, but she is not as keen or even willing, shouldn't she just obey?, thank you in advance.
An analogy, coz i like them
A young lad, or girl, has just passed their driving test and they get a new car, yay, they can go where-ever they like, they go faster than they should but they dont think about it because its new, exciting, this new found freedom. The car is pushed to its limits, more than what it is capable of, the lad/girl push on regardless, not taking much notice of the warning signs the car is giving out, starts with little, minor faults that could be put right but they are not and eventually it breaks down.
It is i think in the beginning quite common to get carried away with the newness of ttwd, not just the dominant but the submissive as well, but as the dominant one needs to have control over themselves, as well as their submissive, she needs to trust you and if you push too hard too fast and force her into something she is not ready for.....well, thats not going to build up trust any time soon.
3 months is not long at all, in the first 3 months with my Master, yeah i wanted it all NOW, and although he pushed me at times, he kept it at a pace that i could reasonably manage with.....what we do now, kink wise and the level of control he has over me, if he was like that straight off....well lets just say there more than likely would not have been another 3 months!
Start slowly, work on what you both enjoy, take the time to get to know her, lots and lots of communication....that really cant be stressed enough, play, have fun with exploring, learn about each other.
Obedience shouldnt be forced, it needs to come willingly, i strive to be obedient, but honestly sometimes im not, i have blips as i call them, where perhaps im testing his authority over me, pushing to see how far i can get, this is more common in the beginning i think, because (or as it is/was in my case) i needed to know his dominance/control over me was unwavering.
But most of all, because its worth repeating, talk, talk and talk some more, listen to her, the best way of getting to know ones submissive, is to learn to read her, and the only way your going to be able to do that is by talking and listening.