I was given permission to masturbate last night and i was pleased as i was intending to have a bath and i do enjoy masturbating whilst in the bath its peaceful and therefore relaxing, however my joy was shortlived as He instructed that i should use all my fingers to fuck myself and i find this uncomfortable. After He had signed off i watched a little tv and went for my bath, i was relaxed and i dont find it hard to get aroused when i think of us so i started to play with myself, pinching my nipples hard just enough to make me wince, i like to sit up on the edge of bath to actually masturbate and i played with my clit as well as using one finger to enter my cunt intially, i was close to cumming so intensified the pace as well as pushing another finger up and thats when it went wrong i climaxed at that point. I have very little self control when left to my own devices, when i am being instructed verbally at the time of doing something then it is not so hard, but i should have held back and i expect i shall be punished as i admit i didnt try as hard as i could of i behaved selfishly as i wanted to cum then when it suited me.
I felt bad afterwards as i knew i was wrong but feeling bad doesnt justify my actions, nor is it an acceptable excuse and usually i will try to worm out of something i have done wrong but this time i wont as i know i didnt try, and He is always reasonable as long as i try my best and on this occassion i didnt. I am starting to realise that i cant always excuse my behaviour and nor does saying sorry make it any better, i was given an instruction and i disobeyed Him.
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