There is a phrase that is often heard in bdsm circles "beat me" begs the masochist, "no" replies the sadist" which when i first heard it i thought was pointless as surely it would not only be denying the masochist their pleasure but also the sadists theirs. I have asked Him to beat me and as of yet He has never refused and im not sure how i would feel if He did and as its a large part of our dynamic i cant see Him doing so unless there was specific reasons, which leads me to asking the question can you punish a masochist with pain?
This is a subject that appears with regularity on most bdsm web boards and a topic that i personally believe has no right answer as it is personal to each individual and the circumstances. I used to scoff when i read about subs/slaves (masochists or not) say that the worst punishment they could receive is withdrawl of any contact with their Dom, but i take it back it is without doubt the worst thing He could do to me. It could be said that this is emotionally damaging and has a detrimental effect to the relationship, which although i can understand i can also see how it can be a very effective tool if handled correctly.
However pain is effective as i think no matter how experienced the masochist there is always going to be one form of pain or another that they do not like, for example, i dont like the new whip He has and therefore used as punishment or as a threat even is enough, but as i dont have a choice on when its used anyway would it make a difference if it was used as punishment? yes simply because there would be no reassurance, His demeanour is "cold" and because of my own guilt i would want to endure and not beg for mercy.