Friday, 24 August 2007

more submissive.......

I have been thinking today about whether i am more submissive after a beating and why it makes me this way. I would say im naturally submissive anyway but i am aware that if a period of time goes by without any form of physical control whether this be when we are together or instructions given via phone or text i tend to start to become more challenging in how i respond to Him. I dont think i do it intentionally or at least i can say i dont do it on purpose to get a reaction because more often than not its not a reaction i like, i do know however when we are together after a caning or whatever He chooses to use i am at my most vunerable and therefore more pliable and likely to submit more willingly.

I dont however think this applies to everyone after all we all are different and i certainly dont condone beating someone just to gain compliance so im not implying that this is the case for me, however i can see in some circumstances as i know how i feel after any form of discipline where it would work for me, simply because i do become more submissive. I think also it has more to do with the fact that as we dont live together and even though we have regular contact when we do meet up i need and want to be put in my place and being disciplined puts me there.

I wander as well if it makes a difference if i enjoy the pain or not and i dont think it does as i tend to feel the benefits more afterwards than at the time which is another reason why im more responsive afterwards. I was speaking with someone who found it strange that i dont get much pleasure at the time, and its not that i dont at all in some circumstances i do if it is within my comfort zone, once out of that no i dont enjoy it but i know within a short period of time afterwards i am comforted by the afterpain and the marks that are left so as much as i may not be thinking it at the time it is worth it.


  1. I have thought this same thing. I get so much pleasure from the things I like, but once pushed outside of them I tend to focus on the negative side of it. I still get aroused by it all, which just confuses things for me. The confusion just adds to the intrigue and the want to do it again. So the pushing just adds to the feelings of it not being my fault. I can place the 'blame' on him for pushing me, but I am the one who wants to be pushed. It's a neat little circle of intrigue. What came first? The chicken or the egg? Either way it feeds his need to be dominant and my need to submit. So both of our needs are met, just not always how I envisioned them being met, which is fine. The surprise of his choice in how he dominates is half the fun. Wow I am truly rambling. I know this is an old post, but I thought it extremely interesting and I'm in a philosophical mood today.

    1. Yes!! this is exactly it, i think in these situations is does feed what both needs, it may not necessarily what we might want at the time but it is a need, and i think sometimes one can get blindsighted in differentiating between the two.

      Oh never mind about rambling, im prone to it a lot lol