Saturday 10 March 2012

Internal enslavement

Internal enslavement is fundementally about consent, it cannot be taken by force it requires time, patience and lots of communication, there must be consent at the beginning when starting this process. 

There is much talk of having the right mindset and this has always baffled me, as individuals is it not fair to say that we all think differently, react differently, so how can we define what is the right mindset?  In the beginning i liked labeling myself as a slave it was hot it was kinky and it just sounded better...how naive i was. 

A slave should have no limits or safewords its often said or used to distinguish between sub and slave, and i have in the past said this myself i admit that....yeah well like i said naive.   I have grown since then and i have a better understanding of what internal enslavement is about....its about how i think, what i think, having the outer walls that i have built up around me chipped away, to be completley open, to be accepting of what i am.

It makes you vunerable, dependent even when you let someone in completley, all your inner feelings and thoughts shared and this in turn is what makes it so difficult because when you become so dependent on someone else there is the fear of it all falling apart or worse being abandoned.

I wander how you find that balance of being able to completley give over everything physically but more importantly emotionally and mentaly without losing yourself along the way,  its a struggle, i struggle it holds me back because i fight against completley letting go, i guess im scared of where it will lead me.

Slave, sub who is to say what they mean, im submissive and i believe very much in internal enslavement...its more than just doing its a thought process.

2 comments:

  1. This post had me nodding in agreement throughout.

    For me, it was my inability to let go completely and my constant struggle to retain part of myself because of fear of losing my Master and knowing how devastated it would leave me that played a huge part in our relationship ending.

    Fortunately, I now have another chance with him and hopefully will have learnt from my past mistakes.
    So this time, I'll give him much more of myself, yeah it'll hurt more if I lose him again, but if I don't open myself up fully to him, I'm likely to lose him anyway.

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  2. Thanks Casi, letting go is difficult but so rewarding when you do, sometimes i feel like its 5 steps forward and 2 steps back but it is progress.

    Im glad you have that second chance to be able to learn.

    tori x

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