I think its around this time 5 years ago we first met up, im not very good with dates, im not very good with talking feelings and emotions either, im reluctant to let people in...you risk getting hurt when you do that..but damn it this is going to be a positive post...its been 5 years for goodness sake....thats good..no its not good its bloody amazing.
Its been a very good 5 years i would never have expected it to last this long (ok im working on being positive), im certainly a lot more secure now in my place with him, i dont tend to feel as needy as i used to, yes have the odd moments but i guess im content....would i want more? of course i always want more of him but you make the best of what you have.
We have had lots of amazingly good times a few bumps along the way, you have to have the bumps i think i dont think any relationship of any dynamic is without its bumps. So this time five years ago, and i still remember the first time more than i do the more recent times.....
I didnt follow the recommended guidelines of safety when meeting up the first time (i know im such a rebel lol) no one knew whom i was meeting, where it was to, we had spoken online and on the phone for a couple of months and that was enough so we planned to meet up.
I was so nervous an excited nervous i had had one previous D/ relationship so i had a taster enough to know this is what i wanted, needed. I arrived first and the waiting for him was the horrible bit just getting more and more anxious, wandering if i was doing the right thing, when he arrived i remember feeling relief that he had turned up but not knowing what to say or do....it was like back being a teenager on a first date!
We sat on the bed talked a lot which relaxed me and eased my nerves then we kissed and i remember putting my hand down onto his dick, we was fully dressed, but he pulled my hand away saying not yet.....see the man was infuriating even back then and has just got worse with age!
He had me stand up infront of him and undress to my underwear whilst he sat there and watched and then stood touching my ass, tits etc..talk about feeling like cattle on display in a farmers market! He tied me to the end of the bed (it was a 4 poster) and blindfolded me, oh fuck i was nervous but very turned on, he attached pegs on my tits, feeling my pussy to see my reaction and he had also stripped off.
He untied me and put a pillow under my bum/lower back whilst i was laid on the bed and then we had sex (with a condom..safety police!) of course it was good it bloody good. It was a good 2 days and 2 nights, exploring pain, i had my first taste of a flogger and a cane on my tits and he caned my ass, the thing i remember specifically is when he caned me it got to a point where i asked it to stop and he asked if i would take 3 more for him, i had a safeword in place at this point but i wasnt close to using it, i took the extra 3. Now i realise i think that this was a start in judging how i would respond to being pushed that little bit further than i wanted to go..i could be wrong but he does tend to even now when i have had enough ask me to take that little bit more..not always....well actually let me correct that now he doesnt ask he insists.
There is more so much more......and hopefully much more to come in the future.