You know those famous lightbulb moments...i get them and i think yay i have got it...but then it dims and im back to square one. I used to strive for perfection but perfection doesnt really exist does it? I start questioning am i submissive enough but what is submissive enough, i read blogs and sometimes i think why cant it come as easily to me, where am i going wrong.
I overthink things i know i do, its a bad trait but one i cant seem to shake off, one day im really confident with myself and the next i can be having moments of doubt, i should be moving forwards surely but it feels like im stuck in this place of focusing too much on what im really crap at and there are lots of things im not too good in but its being unsure of where im going next that distracts me.
I cant make sense of myself half the time, do i need to, i should follow his lead i want to follow his lead, i want to be this positive really obedient submissive but im not.