Well i said i would do a happy post so i suppose i had better.
We have had lots of good happy times and no doubt will have many more, its not all rules, rituals, nasty pain and fighting his authority which i do more than i should..there is fun, there is moments of just being, enjoying each others company, just laughing....the dynamic is always present that is a constant and one we both need.
I look back and can laugh at some of the situations and 'scenes' we have had that may not have always gone the way they was meant to, my horror at discovering these innocent looking nipple clamps with rubber ends actually revealed the rubber could be removed to reveal crocodile teeth underneath and my absolute conviction that they surely was for display purposes only....oh the naivety.
He can be so serious and deadpan at times but yet he makes me laugh, sitting in the car listening to his tirade of critisicm of other drivers, cursing at the sat nav if 'she' dares tell him he has taken a wrong turning, sitting in a restaurant and his iphone beeps with a reminder for him that he jotted down earlier in the week "need to beat tori harder" i kid you not! i wouldnt be surprised if he scheduled sex in as well.
Laughing is good, to laugh together and at each other and at ourselves, yes we engage in a lot of heavy s/m but we also have fun with it as well and i like the balance of that, i wouldnt want to constantly fear 'sessions'. He laughs when i make a drama out of having to lie accross a leather spanking bench naked and its cold on the skin...the irony at the time lost on me that the coldness is the least of my worries, i sometime laugh when im being beaten and i cant stop, i love to turn my head to look at him and he is laughing at my laughing although im not sure why im laughing as its meant to be painful he says...even though we both know he could make it more so..sometimes its more about the enjoyment.
And most of all just talking about anything and everything, lying in bed watching stupid comedies but yet laughing along, i love the heavy stuff, i love the security his strictness gives me but mostly i love being happy and mostly i am.