Tuesday, 3 April 2012

Caught in a Web

I wander if its ok to have a certain amount of fear of your dominant or/and of what they do, a recent convo with a submissive had me thinking this and we had very conflicting views.

I am really scared of spiders, recently i had to get my 15yr old son to remove one from the lounge because i couldnt move from where i was sitting...the cheeky sod asked for money to do it and me being a mug gave him a couple of pounds i was that bloody desperate and scared.  I cant move when i see one in the house because i need to know where it is, my fear is that if i dont keep an eye on it..it may well move and then i would be in constant fear of where it is...so i have to stay put until someone comes to my rescue!

Now i know that here in the UK spiders are not harmful, i know they cant hurt me so my fear is irrational and i have tried various methods of getting over this fear but none have worked, my mum says it probably stems from when i was a toddler and staying at an aunts house when my aunt suddenley grabbed me, jumped on the sofa screaming about a spider than had just ran accross the carpet...so yep thats probably what done it i assume as i cant think of how else the fear got there.

This irrational fear is much the same as the way i feel about certain sessions with Master wherby i know im safe only the difference is i know he is going to hurt me but not damage me, at these times im scared as genuinley scared as i am of spiders.  I am scared of him, i am afraid of what he is going to do and what he does, he likes this fear, he enjoys seeing me shaking, crying and begging him not to do it and then just carries on regardless.....sometimes he will pause and taunt me with feeling my pussy and how wet i am..whispering to me what a dirty slut i am, how can i want it to stop when im so wet...he will listen to my whimpers, my cries of mercy..this just feeds his sadism more.

The problem..well no its not a problem really is that i do enjoy this feeling of fear and i crave it even, i dont want to lose it (unlike the fear of spiders) its a healthy fear if there is such a thing, i dont think fear needs to be seen as a bad thing, its not detrimental to our relationship because the fear is irrational.....as much as it feels real at the time its not, not really.


  1. Yes, there are "good" fears and "bad" ones....your description is apt. Spiders are evil and must be destroyed at all costs by someone other than yourself.

    Your Master isn't someone you fear all the time, but uses your fear of other stuff to make you afraid...The fact you get excited by his fear says that you enjoy it somewhere in your mind. (If you didn't become excited or wet -- that would be different. Or if your Master used spiders to scare you would be unnecessarily crue.)

    Not all fears are equal. It could also be that you enjoy the way he scares you..

    The bigger question is if your response is a conditioned reply to him or is that something that over time will not be as scary to you and cause him to ramp up the fear...

    Now, that's where you start getting into bad territory..or can....


  2. I think it is Ok to have fear of your Dominant. The thing is sometimes I don't like the fear while it is going on but after I miss it and then I start to crave it so it sounds as if we are the same page.

  3. hi ya mouse

    Yep im afraid i spare no mercy when it comes to spiders no letting them back out once they enter the house they have to be destroyed.

    oh mouse you have given me more to think about lol...i do wander if it could possibly get to the point it could become damaging..i dont want that obviously...but that need for more....i can see how it can get addictive.

    tori x

  4. hi dancingbarez

    Yes i completley get what your saying, at the time its real i dont want it but afterwards....sometimes much longer afterwards..days....i look back and relish it and crave more...a vicious circle at times it seems.

    tori x

  5. I think the fear makes it even more exciting for you. You probably wouldn't crave it as much as you do without the fear.


  6. hi FD

    Yes i think your spot on..but the fear is very real at the time...but yes i concede i love that fear.

    tori x