I wander if its ok to have a certain amount of fear of your dominant or/and of what they do, a recent convo with a submissive had me thinking this and we had very conflicting views.
I am really scared of spiders, recently i had to get my 15yr old son to remove one from the lounge because i couldnt move from where i was sitting...the cheeky sod asked for money to do it and me being a mug gave him a couple of pounds i was that bloody desperate and scared. I cant move when i see one in the house because i need to know where it is, my fear is that if i dont keep an eye on it..it may well move and then i would be in constant fear of where it is...so i have to stay put until someone comes to my rescue!
Now i know that here in the UK spiders are not harmful, i know they cant hurt me so my fear is irrational and i have tried various methods of getting over this fear but none have worked, my mum says it probably stems from when i was a toddler and staying at an aunts house when my aunt suddenley grabbed me, jumped on the sofa screaming about a spider than had just ran accross the carpet...so yep thats probably what done it i assume as i cant think of how else the fear got there.
This irrational fear is much the same as the way i feel about certain sessions with Master wherby i know im safe only the difference is i know he is going to hurt me but not damage me, at these times im scared as genuinley scared as i am of spiders. I am scared of him, i am afraid of what he is going to do and what he does, he likes this fear, he enjoys seeing me shaking, crying and begging him not to do it and then just carries on regardless.....sometimes he will pause and taunt me with feeling my pussy and how wet i am..whispering to me what a dirty slut i am, how can i want it to stop when im so wet...he will listen to my whimpers, my cries of mercy..this just feeds his sadism more.
The problem..well no its not a problem really is that i do enjoy this feeling of fear and i crave it even, i dont want to lose it (unlike the fear of spiders) its a healthy fear if there is such a thing, i dont think fear needs to be seen as a bad thing, its not detrimental to our relationship because the fear is irrational.....as much as it feels real at the time its not, not really.