On a bicycle made for two

In discussing with Master our relationship, what works for us, what doesnt, room for improvement etc, he pointed out that a lot of why i struggle sometimes is the attitude i have towards certain things/situations.  I didnt like it, i guess it made me a bit defencive but yet i had to agree (after some contemplation) that he brought to the surface some valid points.

Kink was a huge part of the discussion, well in light of my explosion it was bound to be, i asked him if he thought that because i liked what i do, am i normal? his response "define normal?" and i couldnt and cant, i guess normal is what is considered average...like when you read surveys/figures that say that the average couple have sex around 3 times a week....what is this based on? how many people were surveyed etc, its like reading daily horoscopes, their generic, the chances are something that is said, anyone can apply to themselves.

I know i may not be making sense, but i need to get these thoughts out, its whats helped me to sort through my mess of a head!

Is the idea of 'normal' what the majority of society deems acceptable?  dont have an answer for that!

I suppose though in the view of the majority of society, i would not be seen as normal, my relationship with Master would not be considered normal, but yet its normal to me, to him, and for many others in similar relationships to us its normal, so normal is i would say generic like the daily horoscopes.

Years ago on Informed Consent there was a big discussion, which became quite controversial, a woman started a post that asked how people could engage in and enjoy such acts as face slapping, rape-play, humiliation amongst other things, and be ok with all of this when some woman like herself experienced domestic abuse and she felt it was making light of women that suffer abuse.

 I wouldnt entertain the idea at all of going onto a domestic abuse forum and saying "whats the matter with you lot, nothing wrong with a good hard slap to the face" it would be highly inappropriate to do that as well as quite sick in my mind.

So politely and sensitively it was suggested that this woman was really in the wrong place, the message being that coming onto a D/s, bdsm site and protesting about the postings of s/m and/or the ways people behave in their dynamics wasnt going to go down really well.

And right there is what is bringing me around back to being ok with it all.

Peoples perceptions are generally based on their own personal experiences or what society indoctrinates into us what is 'normal', men as boys are generally taught that its not acceptable to hit a woman, and likewise girls are taught that its not ok to stay in abusive relationships, its not healthy......and thats what caused me some conflict.

Yes, we all know that these (ttwd) are based on consent, i couldnt reason with that argument though, i kept coming back to the fact that our relationship involves the element of non consensual consent, that he can, and will and does decide what occurs in our relationship whether im agreeable or not.

But its more than just being about consent, its about trust, integrity of the dominant, and the submissive.

Im in the right place, with Master, i fit in, im accepted and so its normal.