like it, like it not

*getting there* but if you want to keep me busy feel free to ask more....i may regret saying that*

P Surren asked

"What is the scariest thing you've ever done?"

this is a tricky one, in general? bdsm wise? and a lot of things are scary the first time.

Im going to assume you mean bdsm..

oh blimey umm there are a few things here that i could say, and i have been trying to think on what scared me the most, im edging towards a scene we had years back with another dominant.

They suspended me, not fully, but enough that i was on tip-toes, and proceeded to cane me, both working me over, walking around me, nothing was left out, ass, back and front of thighs, tits, stomach, between my legs when they could catch me there (i was wriggling a lot).

I didnt want to do it, but well yeah it was happening, and initially it was ok, but it got too much and i panicked, i was just bloody scared and i burst into tears, which is very unlike me, and was the first time i had responded this way.

Master stopped the scene straight away to be fair to him, and i was just a sobbing mess, i felt a failure because i felt i had let him down, i was scared he was going to make me continue, i was overwhelmed by all these emotions, what must the other dominant think, have i embarrassed Master etc.

We learnt a lot from that scenario, Master wanted to know why i didnt safeword as soon as i started getting worked up? and i thought that because we didnt use safewords between us, and he was active in the scene i wouldnt be allowed to.  He reiterated what he has always said, that when playing with others im allowed and expected to safeword if i get distressed in any way and no less would be thought of me.

 I was scared before they even started, it was the first time i was to experience 2 doms at once (and one sadist is a handful), plus i didnt like the other dom that much either so that didnt help.

It stayed with me for a long time, and even now the thought of going through it again scares me, it was just more than i could cope with on an emotional level, in hindsight as we both discussed and agreed on later, it was too much for me, too soon, we hadnt been together that long, the previous night we met with a couple and i had my first bi experience, and sexual experience with another dom, so it was simply all too much, i was pushed too far.

"The thing you dreaded the most and did you end up enjoying it?", this also applies to chickadees question "is there anything you once said you would never do, and now you enjoy it?"

needles, originally a hard limit, it was a big thing for me to ask for them, and when he used them on me, afterwards i was like "that was amazing, cant believe i was so scared of them" they are one of my favourite things now.

"What is your most hated implement?  Does it get used often?

dressage whip.  Its really thin, whippy (obviously lol) i just cant seem to handle it at all, even now its the one implement that from the moment it comes into play im begging, moving away from him (he generally makes sure im tied up when it comes out), trying every tactic for him not to use it....if i could have it as a hard limit i would.

Now thankfully it doesnt get used that often, maybe about 7/8 months perhaps longer since it was last used, and i would like for it to be at least that again before its used again.


Right off to go through my blog roll now, this is so much fun!