Tuesday 11 March 2014

His turn.....and a plea from me

Lil asked

"What is it about inflicting pain that is a turn on?"

I have no idea at all.  It's been a part of me for a long time.  I can remember feeling aroused by elements of this, even in my very early teens.  Not violence or pain per se, but ritual scenarios, medieval torture scenes on tv and things like that.  In real life, it has to be with consent, there's something amazing about being with someone who wants, begs to be hurt.  i was waiting myself for the answer to this because when we have spoke about it, because when i struggle with accepting my masochism i want a definition, a reason of why i am like i am, and i know you have come to terms with your sadism and tend not to want to get into why you are like you are, i guess i was hoping for more of an explanation..maybe it just is simply is who we are and there is no idea and its better to just accept it rather than look for a reason to explain it...dunno.

Misssubis asked 

"Tori has spoke about how sometimes when she is being caned she can easily slip into subspace and the pain stops registering and it can go on and on until you choose to stop, what is it about seeing her like that, that you like, or do you prefer it when she is really suffering and doesnt go into subspace?"

It depends.  Generally, I am very happy for her to go into sub space when she is being caned.  I like to see her bleed, and I enjoy administering the cane, so what's not to like.  There are times; however, when i prefer to see suffering.  I like to see the pain in her face, and watch her trying to control it, for me.  I like to see her cry, and to see her scared, worried about what will happen next.  Sometimes, I like to administer many different sorts of pain at once.  In particular, I like to see her writhe under the whip.  I love the marks the whip makes, and the bruises and welts that come later.  This is particularly true of using the whip on her back and breasts.  She has asked for permanent marks, and the single-tail on her back may be the route I will take to this.  it wasnt the route i was thinking of taking!  is it too late to take the offer up of choosing what i would like and how its done?  i know, i know if you waited for me to decide we would be waiting a very long time.

Anonymous blogger asked

"How do you know when enough is enough during s&m, that she really cant take anymore?"

When she is in sub space, it's when the wounds from the cane (or other implement) are reaching the point where they look as if they would take a week or so to heal or at risk of permanent damage.  One of my favourite things at this point, is to fuck her in the ass, still tied to the bench, whilst using my hands on her cheeks, she loves this particular mixture of pleasure and pain.  there is a point of tmi, you have reached it.

When she is in some other scenario, once again, it depends, I will usually decide what is to be done in terms of level, and intensity, and she'll get that, regardless of her reaction to it.  The exemption to thjs rule will be if it's something that she's asked to try.  ok i do have to interject here, when i do ask to try something you add or adapt to it, and generally the something added is not nice at all, like the first time i asked for weights?....yes..i rest my case!

My decision on how far to push her, will be based on previous experience, with that type (or specific) activity.  If she's clearly having trouble with something, I may slow it down, or take a break, but she always gets what I have decided she will take.  I am a sadist, and for me, pushing her hard like this, perhaps beyond where she thought she could go, is a real turn-on.  There's more to 'edge-play' than knives or breathing restrictions.  All activities in BDSM have edges for an individual, and each individuals edges will differ.  Tori knows that sometimes she will be pushed way beyond her comfort zone, or perhaps that should be her discomfort zone.  She may scream, cry, beg and frequently call me all sorts of names.  Afterwards, she delights in what she has achieved, her marks, the lingering pain, and frequently wants to be taken there again!  well i think its pretty clear that your a sadist, and if they didnt know they sure as hell do now!

 my plea?

ahh yes, i think the bossman has taken to much of a liking to this, which is not to my liking, so no more questions for him thank you very much, i want my sanctuary back!

sorry Master, i know i cant stop you, but well for a man that is usually of few words, you seem to be finding more than is necessary here, loves ya though.




14 comments:

  1. tori,

    You are amazing. So brave.

    Bossman,

    Thank you.

    Cheers,
    joey

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    Replies
    1. aww joey, i really dont think brave comes into it, i like it (for the most part), its just the way i am

      thankyou

      x

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  2. there is a point of tmi, you have reached it.


    Oh no he hasn't! Great answers, thank you so much, Bossman. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. I agree with Joey.
    ask a sadist, get a sadistic answer ;-)
    hugs
    DF

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  4. I love getting both sides....thank you. Tori - may i ask you - it's clear he likes the struggle, the fact that you have to work to keep up or endure, during scenes. Do you feel like that applies to other areas of your submission also? I feel like my husband would be bored very quickly if I handled the service and behavior and all the other expectations with ease and grace and never a struggle. thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hi gg

      yes, not in all areas of my submission, but certainly he likes to see me 'working' to improve in somethings, and that i struggle with it because perhaps its something i find difficult, it shows im trying and that is something he likes, and there is always something to improve on!

      I wander if most Doms would get bored if everything came easily, perhaps because there is no challenge?

      x



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  5. Tori, you seem really nervous here. Be careful not to protest too much or this may become part of his sadistic pleasure-giving you angst by sharing more than what you're comfortable with. btw, he gave no more info than you do frequently ;-)

    Thank you both for sharing!!!

    Hugs,
    Fiona

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    Replies
    1. ooh you picked up on that...yeah nervous is about right.

      Its interesting because when i write i think i 'tone in down' and dont give that much away, clearly that is not the case lol

      Yes, i admit, well i cant deny it, that im masochistic but its not something im entirely comfortable with sometimes, and with a lot of the questions at him being about sadism and when we play, i know it shouldnt but it makes me nervous about how im perceived, will there be judgement etc...its easier for him because he is totally at ease with who he is, what he enjoys etc...and im not.

      i dont think he will decide to take more of an active role in my blog, other than reading it, he is aware its making me feel a little uncomfortable..and i know that sounds silly.

      x

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    2. No, it isn't silly. But here's the thing...you are a great, valued member of the blog land community. You are NOT weird or wrong or in any lacking. You help so many with your posts and glimpses into your dynamic.

      Hugs,
      Fiona

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  6. Hey Tori, I've enjoyed reading your answers posts and love hearing thee Bossman's pov. Thank you both for sharing. As for tmi ... well, you saw my blog :) lol

    Hugs,
    Roz

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  7. Thank you for answering my question. Like tori, I spend a fair amount of time wondering why I am the way I am. Which leads to wondering why people on the other side of the coin are the way they are.

    And I think that this is the best description I have ever read of how edge play works:
    "There's more to 'edge-play' than knives or breathing restrictions. All activities in BDSM have edges for an individual, and each individuals edges will differ. "

    tori,
    I won't ask him anymore, promise. Thank you though!

    ReplyDelete
  8. My life is much more interesting now that I read you blog, tori. Lol! Seriously, you make me laugh all the time.

    It is nice to hear his side of things though...

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