Thursday, 20 March 2014

The show must go on

Still not completely back on track, but feeling slightly better about it all, no s/m going on, and im ok with that.....for the moment, time will tell.

But questions, yeah im so behind, im trying to catch up on blogs, slowly getting there.

apologies to those that asked questions that i havent got to yet.

Ava Grace asked

"What made you decide to start blogging about D/s lifestyle?"

ahh well i didnt

The bossman announced one day that he had set a blog up for me and i wasnt too enthusiastic about it, i had and still do keep a private handwritten journal and i figured what was the point of keeping a blog!

It took me a while to settle into blogging, and slowly learnt to love it, although i did take a 2 year break from blogging a while back, when i came back to it, it felt like it was a different person who wrote all what came before the much had happened in those 2 years, i had changed, outlook etc.

So when i came back, it was with a different attitude, its helpful to me to get my thoughts down, sometimes writing about something can make things that bit more clearer in ones head, i started to interact more with other bloggers, and that helped, still helps in giving me a sense of not being alone, having other people to relate to, bounce thoughts off, we can always learn more no matter how much we think we may know.

He reads my blog, which initially i hated, but now i think nothing of it, its another form of communication, it provides him with insight, he gets more information about how and what i think etc....which i think is a good thing, the better a dominant knows his sub, the more effective he can dominate, he will pick up on things that i write that lead to some great discussions.

"how much of your kink do you share with the outside world?"

Other than keeping this blog, pretty much none of it.  We are both fairly private people, i have a close friend who knows somewhat of the kink we engage in, but she thinks it as bedroom kink only and i dont put her right.  No matter how open minded people may be, this is not a lifestyle that is generally going to be understood, and as much as i would like to think that one day that M/s (or other forms of ttwd) will be accepted and recognised by society and the law, i dont think that day will come in my lifetime, so to avoid unwanted questions, judgement, i keep my thoughts, opinions about (and) our relationship dynamic private to the outside world.

"why Master/slave? what differentiates it from Dominant/submissive, is Master/slave more 24/7?"

i probably should do a separate post for this..but im trying to catch up lol

The simple and quick answer would be its just labels, and does it matter?

in general it doesnt matter, however its what matter to the person, what it means to them.

For my Master its about tpe, ownership, dominating all of me, all of the time and therefore M/s is more apt, it may seem 'cold' but he sees me as his property, he owns me, bottom line is im answerable and dependent to/on him in every way, and i guess in my opinion this is the subtle difference between M/s and D/s.

I think one can be M/s or D/s 24/7, everyone fits around what works for them, but in my opinion because of the general nature of being M/s, the intensity, the process, the dependency etc its more effective in 24/7 situations, there is no break from it at all, you cant fully experience the whole effect (for want of a better phrase) if your not living and experiencing  it together on a permanent basis.


  1. It is so hard to keep things going when you just don't feel like you. Sorry you've had such a rough go recently. Thanks for answering more.

    Hugs tori!

    BTW…how did you choose tori?

    1. thanks fiona, i swear this year has it in for me! lol

      tori is short for Victoria, which i hate, everyone calls me it, outside of blogger, in real life..well you know what i mean lol, so i wanted to be tori here.


  2. "there is no break from it at all, you cant fully experience the whole effect (for want of a better phrase) if your not living and experiencing it together on a permanent basis."

    Oh well said!

    I'm really glad to hear that you've started feeling a bit better about everything.

    1. thanks lil,

      yeah things are getting pretty much back to normal, it shook me right up but i think im back on track!


  3. sorry you are going through a rough patch but glad you are slowly feeling better :) thinking of you xxxx love and hugs

  4. I'm glad you are starting to feel a little better Tori, thank you for sharing some more answers.


    1. thanks Roz, i have enjoyed the question and answer month, and i am feeling a lot better about i all now, bit embarrassed that i had such a blow up!