Outside looking in...from then to now

I dont know about the rest of you all, i need more hours in the day to ask questions and answer, not that im complaining im really enjoying this, but i do like to go back to the blogs i asked questions on and follow up...umm heck that could be a never ending circle couldnt it lol

anyways on with the show

DelFonte asked

"How do you think your relationship to Bossman appears to the outside world, the vanilla one?"

Gosh im really not sure, being as i do like people watching myself it would be foolish of me to think that people dont sometimes pick up on how we are with each other, behaviourism's etc.  Generally when in the 'outside world' its more subtle, a certain look from him can convey his meaning without words or a whisper in the ear.

I would like to think people just see a couple that are comfortable with one another, attentive, however they might see what they consider an overbearing domineering bully of a man and a weak, meek pathetic woman that cant make her own choices in certain situations.

His slut asked

"How after so many years do you find ways to deepen your submission?"

I think its continual, in that the more we experience, as the relationship develops etc we learn more about ourselves, our dominants, what i thought about being submissive now compared to 5 years, heck even 2 years ago has changed.

I feel like sometimes im lagging behind whereas he is miles in front waiting for me to catch up, because he cant tell me how i should think or feel, i have to get there on my own, sure he can guide me, he could say "I would like you to think like xyz" but it has to come from me, from within.

So we talk a lot, he explains his reasonings to me, encourages me to ask him questions, we talk (in blogland) a lot of the sub communicating honestly and openly but it works both ways, the better i understand what he expects of me and why, the better i can 'work' on my submission.

Im not sure that exactly answers the question, but its the best i got lol

Joolz asked

"was there a transition from submission to slavehood or was it something you agreed from the beginning with Bossman?

Definitley not from the beginning, it wasnt something that appeared on my radar lol.  After we had been together quite a while, realised that the relationship was going somewhere, then like most couples there was a lot of discussion about important issues, the extra element here was the ttwd and expectations for that.

He was honest with me about the type of relationship he would prefer ie M/s, what that would entail, his expectations of me and also what i would expect from him etc, lots and lots of discussions, asking questions etc.  He left it to me to think on, i did (although no matter how prepared i thought i was, reality was still a shocker lol) and i asked him for enslavement.

I dont think its as simple as going to bed one night a submissive and waking up the next day as a slave lol, enslavement is ongoing, adapting to a mindset, the 'idea' of relinquishing control to another can sound very exciting, thrilling, and oh dont get me wrong its great but the reality is its not always easy, people dont tend to look beyond the kink side and that is just a small part of it.