Monday 10 March 2014

All about the suffering....Not

*i should say that if anyone does opt to email me, if we havent corresponded before then it tends to go to my bulk folder which i dont tend to check very often, which is how i missed these questions from a blogger that wished to remain anonymous.....again apologies, i wasnt ignoring you*

1)  Reading the Bossman's answers I wandered how high your pain threshold is especially after reading this, I quote "when her body is bleeding from my cane or my whip"?

Its variable on many factors, which i know sounds evasive but it depends on the implement, my frame of mind at the time, part of body he is hurting.  

For example, when im the right frame of mind, i love the cane and can take a severe caning where it will draw blood and it doesnt faze me at all, its the only implement that he has had to stop before i have wanted him to, purely because any more strokes could have the risk of causing permanent damage.

On the other side of the coin, when im not in a receptive mood, he could use the cane and less than a dozen strokes in i want it to stop, there have been occasions where if i havent been tied down i will move away..notably one time i locked myself in the bathroom to get away from him and the cane.

2) Is it mainly about your suffering that he enjoys? or is there some enjoyment for you as well?

Nope not mainly about my suffering.  Perhaps i dont make it clear, coz i know im terrible for moaning about what i dont like etc, but more often than not its about mutual enjoyment, he enjoys hurting me and i enjoy getting hurt.  

Gosh, im a giggler and its not uncommon for me to have fits of laughter when being hurt, and he is laid back about it, during play its the only time i can get away with calling him horrid names and he generally laughs, it encourages him, and i know that..

What enjoyment is there for me?  i love the connection between us at these times, in many ways i find it more intimate than sex, i like seeing the desire and excitement in his eyes as he hurts me, we feed off one another, the more he sees me enjoying it the more it spurs him on.

Yes there are certainly times it is just about my suffering, i cant deny that he does really love it when i am genuinely suffering, and i really want it to stop, but he knows that i get off on enduring, not at the time but afterwards........he would not get any enjoyment from inflicting pain on anyone that did not enjoy it on any level, after all he wants me to want to come back for more.

3)  How does he know when you have had enough?

Im going to add this to his questions to answer (which i will have to get on to him about) if you dont mind?

4) Is s&m the most important part of your dynamic?

No, it plays a big part in our relationship because as explained above we both do enjoy it, but actually we dont play that often, not in the extent of 'harder' scenes, my first 'love' is being controlled/dominated and still remains what is most important to me.

omg, im still try to play catch up!, i just wanted to get this one out because i feel guilty that i missed it...sorry!




13 comments:

  1. tori,

    Thank you once again for very thoughtful answers. I agree that taking pain is not just physical, how we feel plays an important part of our pain tolerance.

    When I suffer, I want to know that the Domme is being turned on. I want to know I am pleasing them.

    Again, thank you for terrific responses to excellent questions.

    Hug,
    joey

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    1. thanks joey

      yep i agree, it would be meaningless for me if he wasnt turned on, its important for me to know im giving him pleasure.

      x

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  2. Hi Tori, these are great questions and I enjoyed reading your answers and think you explained it really well. Thanks for sharing this. It certainly gave me more of an insight into your dynamic.

    I agree with you too on tolerance to pain. There are so many factors that come into play.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. hi ya Roz

      i found these questions quite difficult, because sometimes its difficult to explain, and im not entirely sure i gave the question justice.

      x

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  3. Tori,

    I enjoyed reading your replies to these questions-you explain things so very well-but I don't envy you this batch of questions!
    The tolerance to pain point, always leaves me confused in trying to explain.

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    1. I agree, its a bit like 'how long is a piece of string' because sometimes there isnt a definite answer, too many variables.

      x

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  4. Wow. This is really insightful. My husband has told me that he is a sadomasochist. I *think* I could be a masochist, but I don't really know at this point. But I enjoyed your description of how SM plays out in your relationship.

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    1. Thanks Tomsrose

      it took me a long time to accept and embrace being a masochist, i think perhaps because i couldnt get my head around that i liked and wanted to be hurt....its just well not deemed 'normal' lol

      x

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  5. I've had fits of laughter, lol. It is so weird. There's absolutely nothing funny about what is happening and I just keep laughing because I'm laughing.

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    1. yes! once i start laughing i cant stop because its like 'why the hell am i laughing' lol

      x

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  6. great questions and very honest answers. I have some catching up to do so bear with me and I might have a question or two myself ;) I always enjoy reading your posts Tori - you give such good insight into your relationship...its intriguing to me. And I get your pain tolerance differences too - I think we all have them, different levels at different times :)

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    1. thank you kiwi, and nice to see you posting as well.

      Yep i think pain tolerance is just too variable to define to one point.

      x

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  7. Wow! Your posts never cease to amaze me! I just finished reading your last couple of posts. I have missed a few so if these were already asked before, my apologies!

    Did you always know you were submissive? Did you always know that you were a masochist? Did you have much experience in either before the Bossman?

    (you are right .. this IS fun!) ;)

    thank you!
    (((hugs)))

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