Wednesday 12 September 2012

Vanilla with sprinkles

I cycled 61 miles yesterday with my best mate (fondly referred to as The Loon) and im numb, i cant even feel myself pee (hey im a sharing kind of girl), and my ass and thighs feel like they have been thoughrly beaten, im sore and aching this morning but as my mate cheerfully kept saying "no pain no gain"...yeah right im not feeling it at the moment and as i pointed out to her at least when im feeling numb and sore from s/m i get a few orgasms out of it.

We stopped for half an hour to rest and the loon in her matter of fact blunt way said "I said to nige (her hubby) that I wouldnt mind watching you and the bossman having an s/m session" my first thought was im glad she knows the heimlich maneuver because i nearly choked on my banana, then absolutley not, get that idea right out of your head, there is no way i will let that happen.  I have always been open with her to a certain extent of what we do because i trust her implicitly and she is in a way more sexually confident than i am and isnt judgemental, heck if she knows im marked she pesters to have a look at them...it intrigues her.

Then what with those books making headline news which she has read and we have discussed, its conjured up these images that she finds exciting and she is all for sexual experimentation..not quite sure her hubby is as enthusiastic..although i did laugh when she said she made him read the books.  So yeah now she just wants to watch, and im not being co-operative, she doesnt see what the big deal is, its not like she hasnt seen me naked before and she has (in a non sexual situation), you have told me bits and pieces..so those are her arguments.  Its still a no, and it will always be a no, she pouted for a bit and then moved on in a complete change of subject to talk about her new outfit she has bought for an upcoming wedding....phew subject closed.

The truth of the matter is and what i told her is i dont want her to see me like that, its different talking and reading about it, she only knows a little of what we do, i think it would change her perspective of me and potentially damage our friendship and i wont risk that....what i didnt tell her is there is that teeny weeny part of me that finds the idea appealing, i do get off on voyuerism both watching and being watched but some ideas are best left as ideas...this is just one fantasy of hers that wont make reality.










6 comments:

  1. i totally get the hidden thrill of something that turns you on... but you know will only work as an idea cos the moment any part of it becomes real, then your world comes crumbling down.

    *hugs*

    and those books! grrrr

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    1. Yes some things are most definitley best left as fantasy the problem is sometimes you learn that too late, i know i have acted out fantasies that i really thought i would love and it was a disaster lol

      yeah i wasnt impressed with the books!

      x

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  2. "see you like that"? I understand what you mean, but I can't help but challenge the assumption - we don't like to see others sexually (in graphic detail), so that part makes sense, but s/m is just a different way of expressing it.

    You are right though - people seeing you in your private moments may not be what you really want.

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    1. I would have no issue with being watched if it was just sex or indeed watching, i would turn me on, but s/m is different because im vunerable, more exposed than i am during sex.

      We have played with others both sexual and s/m wise and mostly its been fun and have enjoyed it but these have been people that are active in the lifestyle and that makes a huge difference....a good friend is too close for comfort.

      x

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  3. Yes those book have caused quite a bit of trouble for some. As soon as my cousin was done reading she told me she knew what was going with Master and I. My eyes just got huge and eventually I just nodded and tried to change the subject.

    I understand being excited about being watched and watching others, I have done both and got great satisfaction out of it although it was in a sexual contexr without any s/m involved.

    I don't think I could have a friend watch one of our scenes, even a light one. I am in just too much of a vulnerable place at that moment.

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    1. Thats exactly it dancing you hit the nail right on the head, its being in that vulnerable place that makes the difference, in some ways its more initmate than sex.

      x

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