Being humiliated is often associated with negative connotations, to make someone feel shamed, to intimidate, but it also brings about the feelings of humbleness and submission, the tricky part is identifying and separating negative and positive humiliating acts and the effects they have on the submissive.
I find humiliation is an effective tool to use to enable me to 'let go' to break away from being the independent, assertive working mother, the woman todays society approves of, because this is what women generations before and today have fought for, to be treated fairly and equal to men, we can have it all. I have no argument with this, i agree and support that women should have the same rights as men but mostly i support the right as a woman to have choice, i can have it all but my all includes submitting to a man which society isnt so embracing of.
So it can be conflicting at times, or i find it is, i have to keep this very important part of who i am hidden away, its barely acceptable to have a submissive nature, to actually submit to another is not generally something people will speak up about, its funny how we have come so far in so many ways, sex is more openly discussed, we are indeed more liberated today, for me my freedom comes in the form of consensual slavery which doesnt fit.
Humiliation frees me from this conflict, being debased takes me to a place where i can shed societies doctrines, i want to feel less than him, i dont want to be his equal, i need to be taken beyond the shame of the humiliation and welcome it. That place is far far away from the normal rules, where being called a slut/whore/bitch does not have negative connotations, where kneeling and worshipping his feet is not demeaning to women, its a place where im most happiest and content because im free to be me.
Humiliation 'play' is also something i do enjoy a great deal and we do a lot of it because thankfully he loves it as well, i like being debased, to feel weak and helpless, to be treated with disdain and to feel worthless, its not about damaging my self esteem or shattering my confidence its more focusing on being able to 'let go' and be happy to enjoy these moments and feel no shame because i do.
Humiliation within M/s dynamics or bdsm isnt complicated, its us humans that are complex and its our experiences and societies doctrines that make humiliation personal to the individual, and therefore humiliation cannot be defined because a particular act that i may find humiliating another may not...we all have 'triggers' that will either be positive or negative.