Monday 24 September 2012

What if....M/s without the kink?

You cant miss what you have never had it is said but that doesn't stop the mind from wandering, i have not had any other kind of relationship with the bossman other than it being D/s based, we met on a D/s site and corresponded for a couple weeks to ascertain compatibility, met and our dynamic was in place from that first meeting and well nearly 6 years on things are great, wobbly moments for sure but thats to be expected.

So i have been wandering recently if we had met in a traditional vanilla way, no kink, no M/s, would our relationship have lasted as long as it has, we are opposites in so many ways which i don't think is necessarily a bad thing..opposites attract and all that, but what would be the glue that would hold us together? when the glue now is the power exchange.

Or what if we had started off in an established vanilla relationship and then progressed to D/s?

Now I'm just wandering (which is probably not a good thing) nothing more, i wouldn't want our relationship to be anything other than what it is but then i don't know any different, but people change, circumstances change, what if he or i didn't want the kink anymore? would the power exchange alone be enough?  Its highly unlikely there would ever be no D/s because his nature is to be dominant so that's not an issue and well I'm happily submissive, but kink well that's optional isn't it?  like being sadistic or masochistic, you don't need to be either of these to be dominant or submissive so is it likely that these are traits that could change and be no more?

Its possible, he could wake up one day and decide that he doesn't want or need the kink anymore!, he could lose his sadistic urges.

Yeah i knew this over thinking was a bad idea! kink does play a huge part in our dynamic although its certainly not the most important aspect, i need his control more than i need the sadism but i know should s/m no longer be a part of our dynamic i would miss it dreadfully.  However kink isn't just about s/m there are so many different forms of kink out there that we also enjoy, being controlled doesn't need to be demonstrated through kink though, his control surrounds me, his ownership of me is evident in ways that are not associated with kink at all.

I wander though even if it should happen because my submission is fed by his dominance and control over me and its pleasing him that is the driving force and what makes us both happy, i think although it would be an adjustment i would happily follow his lead in whatever direction he chose to take our dynamic.






8 comments:

  1. I've wondered the same thing in reverse. Funny. Maybe we are all just ending up where we need to be through different paths?

    And as one overthinker to another, yes, it will get you in trouble, but fighting it is futile. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol kitty overthinking is probably never a good thing but well it has to be done sometimes.

      I do enjoy hearing/reading different accounts of how we all get where we are, i like the diversity.

      x

      Delete
  2. Excellent post. Thank you for your comment on my site, I am glad I have found another very thoughtful blog on submission.

    Hug,
    joey

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thankyou joey, likewise im really enjoying your blog, i do like seeing other perspectives.

      x

      Delete
  3. Well we started out Vanilla many, many years ago but just came back to each other last year. The kink started shortly thereafter with a little pushing from my end. I think we would have moved to a D/s relationship even without the kink but I think it would be hard to take it back now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes i think once this journey has been started it must be difficult to go back and perhaps detrimental to try to.

      xx

      Delete
    2. I can't imagine going back now, either to having no kink or to having no M/s. I would be very sad. He would miss it too, so there is not really any reason for going back now. We started out vanilla in our marriage.

      Delete
    3. hi ancill_ksst, i think that seems to the general consensus, although im sure it must happen. I do wander if discovering kink has actually broken up some marriages, where one wants it more than the other?

      x

      Delete