Saturday, 8 September 2012

Knowing what i know now

Knowing what i know now if i was single and looking for a dominant to have a tpe dynamic with i have a clearer understanding of whats important to me and what i think makes for a healthy dynamic.

1)  Communication

Talking and listening, this cant be stressed enough, and its a 2 way street, its important that time is made to sit and talk open and honestly, listen to each other, not just about kink etc but anything, to learn about each other.  There should be time set aside when i can speak freely without fear of repurcussion (so long as its respectful) to know that i am being heard and not dismissed, i dont want a dominant that has the attitude that he doesnt need to listen because he is Master so its only what he thinks, says etc that matters.

2)  Consistencey

I believe this is a foundation to building trust, i dont think trust happens overnight, it takes time to establish and consistencey aids in establishing trust, i need to know he is a man of his word and when he makes a decision he will stand by that, i need the security of knowing he is not going to change his mind or rules/expectations on a whim just because he is Master.

3) Accountability

Just because they may be dominant does not mean they know it all, do not make mistakes and are never wrong, i want a dominant who will acknowledge his mistakes and take responsibilty for them, the same would be expected from me, i dont want a dominant who thinks because he is Master he is always right and i should just accept that.

There are other things, but these are what would be most important to me initially. On a more lighthearted note though i would also want....

a sadist whom is competent in his abilities and can take me to the edge, push me over but also be there to pick me back up again

someone who i can laugh with

someone who can humiliate and degrade me in the most primal of ways but makes me feel all the more alive for it

But im not looking, i hope never to be looking, i have what i would want and for that i am very grateful and lucky that he found me.