Thursday, 26 July 2012

What are you?

There have been times in our relationship and no doubt there will be more where i get antsy, conflicted and question my submission, mostly this is when its something he knows i dont like and i dont want to do it, it leads to him asking a question that is always the same.

Master: "What are you?"

I know the answer he wants, and it infuriates me because it gives no leeway, no room for argument, "you wanted this" he will say, "you knew what I expected" oh and not forgetting "have you changed your mind?" the answer he wants and will get is "im your slave".

See with Master he is very sure of what he wants and what he doesnt want, what behaviour he expects and there is no negotiating, a "no" is not acceptable to whatever he asks of me, and damn sometimes i get in a hissy fit trying to get him to be reasonable, to see things from my perspective, its pointless absolutley a complete waste of my time and effort...and it takes a lot of effort throwing a hissy fit!

It always come back around to "What are you?" sometimes i will avoid the answer he wants and reply with "a person with thoughts and feelings" but of course he has an answer for that, he always does, but this isnt about thoughts and feelings its about his expectations of a slave and i agreed to this, yes i wanted this and no i havent changed my mind.

Its difficult.  Its not kink in the bedroom and then back to normal in the morning (not that im saying there is anything wrong with that), its not all kink 24/7 either, i work, children etc but his ownership of me is like an invisible shadow that follows me constantly, there is no shaking it off, it effects decisions i make, how i behave, what i think and how i subsequently act.

A friend once said to me when i was moaning about his demands "slavery isnt like pick n mix candy at the movies, you dont choose what you want and leave alone what you dont" I laughed and did think it was a bit pretentious but the further down this journey i go i realise how apt it is.

I was prepared or i thought i was prepared for what this would be like, when i agreed to enslavement we talked it through, he made clear his thoughts on what a slave is to him and it was oh so exciting i dont think i looked beyond the kink aspect.  I am his slave, i have recently been having conflicts with being called a slave and i cant really say im still 100% comfortable with it, but im also realising that it doesnt matter how i interpret slavery because its not for to decide what a slave is...its what he expects.

So yea when he asks "what are you?" i reply that im his slave, and thats enough most of the time to remind me of all that i have agreed to and i do want this, i need this.


  1. Yes, you do want it and need it and you are fortunate that you found him to give it to you. Good luck in your continuing journey to explore your life as his slave.


    1. Thanks FD, its certainly a very interesting journey.

  2. You asked for it, you got it. At the root of it, you are His until He releases you or you demand release. Take it and own it while you can, and enjoy the ride.

    Stay SINful
    Mr. AP

    1. Yes i did ask for it, admit i didnt understand completley what i was asking for but i dont think you do until your living it, but i wouldnt change it.

      The ride is very enjoyable for the most part lol