Is there a difference? does he love me or my submission?
Speaking from my own personal experience i sought out to have a relationship of this nature rather than being in an established relationship and the ttwd being brought into it so i wander of the differences between these scenarios in regards to love. For example in an already established relationship where ttwd is explored together i should imagine that love is already present, wheras for me i didnt seek out love, i sought out a specific type of man and dynamic.
I have been in a vanilla relationship and loved and been loved it was not enough, it was not his fault but i needed to explore my submission being in that relationship did not make me happy once i became obsessed with the need to be dominated. So to be a bit pessimistic i dont believe love conquers all and im more inclined to go with the saying "If your in a relationship that makes you miserable more than it makes you happy, no matter how much you love them, let them go", im the first to say all relationships need to be worked at and thats true but you both have to want the same or similar things, you cant make someone be something they are not and its not fair to expect them to.
Unlike established relationships where ttwd is explored together at the same pace i joined a uk bdsm site, put up a profile which gave a rough idea of who i was and what i was looking for and what i was looking for was...an experienced older dominant....i had one brief relationship with a man, it didnt work out and then i met the bossman, he mailed me...long story short within a few months we met up and our relationship started.
I wasnt actively seeking out a romantic entanglement, if it became part of it then so be it, im very much a what will be will be type of person, so at the very start our relationship was Dom and sub, sure we talked about vanilla stuff as we spoke online but when it was agreed that we were going to pursue further and meet up it was very much all about the dynamic which is what we both wanted.
He was what was looking for ie an experienced older dominant, why was this important to me? being a newbie i wanted someone that was confident in their abilites and most of all themselves and yes the experience of being a dominant in an M/s dynamic, as for older well thats my personal preference, i prefer the older man. Does all this make it easier than exploring it all new together? i dont think so, i dont think anyway is easier or better, different yes, both having advantages and disadvantages.
This is going to have to be 2 posts as i havent even touched on the actual subject of the post title..blame kitty the submissive wife she got me thinking on this.