Monday 13 February 2012

no romance here..well not the typical romance

Valentines Day and a happy one to those that celebrate it.

Im not romantic nor is my Owner but then i suppose everyones idea of romance will differ, there will be no exchange of valentines cards or slush of any kind, that doesnt mean there is no love on the contrary i love him very much and he tells me he loves me.......hey im not all hard i do have a soft side and so does he....umm ok perhaps not in his case...(kidding).

I dont see him as my partner, boyfriend, or lover i see him as my Owner and whilst i think love is great i dont value it as much as i do as the dynamic of our relationship.  However saying that i dont know if i would have come as far as i have now without love being present, but flip side of the coin...would the love still be there if the dynamic wasnt.....  that brings with it the age old question...what is love? 

I am happy, he makes me happy, i make him happy, i am most content being under his control, his dominance, his intelligence, his sadism, his cruelty at times are what i love about him, i love that he makes me feel safe and i love that he knows me so much better than i know myself at times.

He hurts me, he takes me down dark paths that i didnt and dont want to go down, i have felt objectified and humiliated, dirty and worthless and he has taught me that its ok to like having those feelings, to embrace them, to let go of what we are told is wrong...because with him they feel right.

so yep thats my romance.

4 comments:

  1. Your romance might be different but it sounds like a romance because you seem to be so happy about the places he takes you. Good luck on your continued journey to those dark places.

    FD

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  2. Yes am very happy, thanks i think i might well need luck with some of the places he wants to go lol

    tori

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  3. I envy you.
    I always put so much importance on love that it messed up my relationship with my former Master.
    It wasn't until I'd made myself so confused worrying about him not loving me and destroyed us, that I realised that being happy with him and obeying him was actually all I needed.

    Being happy every day is so much more important than romance.
    You're very lucky and I'm smiling because of the contentment shining through in your post.

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  4. hi Casi

    thanks, its not that i think love is unimportant i just down allow it to interfere with our relationship.

    I hope your in a better place now,sometimes we have to have negative experiences and make mistakes to learn from them.

    best wishes
    tori

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