Thursday, 16 February 2012

Fantasies...reality or some best left as a fantasy

Its natural to have fantasies and im lucky that over the years i have fulfilled a lot of mine, some have been just as exciting as i hoped they would be, others not so much.  There are the unrealistic know being on a secluded beach with just Johnny Depp is not going to happen but hey im allowed to dream.

I am encouraged to talk about what i fantasise about and mostly i dont have a problem, he wants to know, he needs to know what goes on in my head it aids him in knowing better what buttons to press.  One of the advantages to being in this sort of relationship (M/s, D/s etc) is i have no fear of him being horrified or judgemental no matter what i might come out...a few i dont feel comfortable admitting to here but he knows.

One particular fantasy i have is to be restrained over a spanking/whipping bench and gang banged whilst he watches yet if it were to  happen i have a pretty strong feeling i would hate it, so why do i fantasise about it?  I dont know to be honest,  i think it would be something emotionally i would struggle with and could be detrimental to us,  i have served other men and women orally in his presence and i wouldnt say i disliked it but i didnt particularly enjoy it either....i could simply take it or leave it. 

We have watched the videos on Paingate and i fantasise about being able to take the brutal whippings and canings you see on them, he has been there done that i havent, i can take a hard caning and i love it but the whip i struggle with...this is a fantasy he is working on turning into reality for me which i know he is enjoying.

I fantasise about watching him dominate another man, i find the idea so hot but alas he isnt so keen...go figure!  so very much doubt that will ever be reality.  I had the fantasy of being dommed by two men, i found the idea very appealing and he made it reality.....i hated it, it was only a small taste but it was enough to know that it wasnt as i thought it would be.  I cant even say it was really a hard session it wasnt but i resented the other dominant being able to tell me what to do, i didnt like him hurting me although it was nothing compared to what my Owner does...that didnt matter..the reality wasnt my fantasy.   But i dont own my fantasies really do i? 

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