The funny thing is when we first got together and discussed likes/dislikes etc the biggest issue for me was no needles..the thought of them scared me and it wasnt something i was interested in most definitley a hard limit. I knew he liked them and was competent in knowing what he was doing, he has far more experience than me which is mostly comforting but yet also sometimes i get these really insecure moments of thinking am i enough to satisfy his sadistic needs...silly i know.
As time went on and our relationship progressed its natural that trust becomes more firmly established and with this growth, the needles were always in the 'toy box' and they became the 'elephant in the room' he never mentioned them so by no means was there any pressure.
Im not sure if it was my submission deepening and with it my need to please him but more specifically to put his pleasure above my own discomfort/fear or just plain curiosity but i needed to explore needles. I asked to be able to hold a needle just to get a feel of it which he obliged and he also took one and whilst i was kneeling naked in front of him he just ran it lightly over my breast leaving a very faint scratch.
I remember being a little scared, part of me wanting him to put the needle in but the other part of me was pleading inside not to and he didnt and intially i was relieved but later i felt disappointed that i hadnt taken that plunge......although he made it clear there was nothing to be disappointed about.
A while later (weeks) i plucked up the courage to ask him for needles and to be pierced with them, i wanted to do this not just for him but for me...i wanted to be able to give him all what he enjoys and this was one step further.
I was so nervous sitting in a chair and watching him prepare the needles, he had me look at him whilst he inserted the needle in to my tit and my first thought was along the lines of "this is ok...what on earth was i so scared of" he only inserted a few i think 2 on each tit and i was buzzing even more so when he said how proud he was of me.
The are now (4 years on) one of my favourite things, most especially i like to pull them out myself and watch the blood trickling down over my tits..i have a thing for blood i love it! Putting them through the nipple however is another matter i love to hate it, the sensation is different more sharper and if im lucky he will allow me to play with myself when he puts them in so there is the perfect balance of pain and pleasure.
The point of this post is in a way about hard limits and should they be pushed by the dominant or/and should the sub be receptive to having them pushed or be willing to try, or should they just be left well alone? Its a tricky one.. in the situation i gave my curiosity got the better of me and i pursued it, there are so many factors to take into consideration, people change as the relationship grows..and areas which may have been a hard limit may no longer be considered as such.
Im still growing/develping and still have challenges ahead, sometimes i need a push from him (gently hopefully or yes sometimes the hard way) and other times i get there myself, overcoming what we fear is a mindfield of emotions....there may well be things i wont be able to overcome and thats ok too.
Oftentimes the very things that terrify are the very things that thrill.
ReplyDeleteServe well,
Omega
How very true that is, i think the concept is similar to being on a scary rollercoaster ride!
ReplyDeleterespectfully
tori