Its not about sex, how many orgasms i have, or dont have, how often i masturbate or how long i withhold, how often i suck his cock etc.....the body is the easiest thing to control, to dominate, him getting into my knickers was the easy part, getting into my head was and is harder, it takes effort from both of us, it takes time.
Its the exchange of power, the rituals in place that enforce my submission that last long out of the bedroom. I can talk dirty i love it, whispering the filthy things i want him to do to me in his ear, i struggle with having to sit down in front of him and talk about my feelings and thoughts, having them pulled apart, making me have to confront them.
I love kneeling in front of him and sucking his cock and having my hair pulled, but kneeling at his feet and worshiping them has more meaning. Its easy doing things i like and enjoy for those obvious reasons, im keen and happy but its not about what i like and enjoy, my ultimate pleasure is in serving him..thats my enjoyment, being dominated and controlled in and out of the bedroom and this means sometimes having to do things i dislike and being open to new experiences.
Dont get me wrong, i love sex and naturally enjoy it.....but sex isnt enough.