Monday, 27 February 2012

Trying to define humiliation

Humiliation is a very personal subject and one that fascinates me as it covers such a wide spectrum, it seems to either be something that people really enjoy or shy away from completley but yet because of its diversity and its personal element what some deem as humiliating wont be to others so how can we actually define what is humiliating when it is so personal? when there is the element of types of  different humiliation that is enjoyed and some disliked.

I have been thinking about this since reading and subsequently commenting on a regarding spankings, its fair to say that spanking is a very popular kink or/and a part of domestic discipline, many enjoy it...i dont like or enjoy it....i find it humiliating i associate it with being treated as a child which to me is patronising, being told to get over his knee for a spanking is just humiliating and i will avoid it if i can.  Others may well think im mad to see it as being humiliating...its a spanking for goodness sake, yes it is but this comes back around to how humiliation is personal....its how the individual interprets an act, how it effects them.

On the other hand there is watersports which when the subject crops up inevitably so does the term humiliating it tends to be associated with being humiliated, but i enjoy it, i dont find it humiliating in the same way as i do being spanked.  Being peed on and being told what a dirty filthy bitch i am whilst kneeling covered in his piss gets me going a lot, i love it, i will beg for its fair to say that i dont have any negative connotations with this act.

Feeling humilated is a state of mind which may be positive or negative, when he speaks to me or treats me in a derogatory manner it can have varied effects ranging from making me feel humbled, worthless and dirty to finding subspace and just floating...happily enjoying the treatment he is dishing out....either way im aroused.

Personally i find the yin and yang of humiliation appealing, he may say humiliating things to me or treat me in a degrading manner but yet i know he loves and values me, i can let myself go...we both can.


  1. This was a very good post to show how different we all are. I think the majority of bloggers would love OTK spankings but would hate being peed on. For you, it's the opposite, which I think is fine. I'm all for whatever turns each couple on. Watersports is one subject I've never blogged on. Your post is likely to prompt me to do it for the first time.


  2. I 100% agree, feeling humiliated is a state of mind and I quite enjoy it. OTK is not humiliating to me but I do enjoy being called dirty names and being forced to look him in the eye while do things I find embarrassing. Interesting topic. Thanks for bringing it up.

  3. FD: Thankyou, Yes i would guess im in the minority in my feelings towards being spanked...i love w/s its high up there on my favourite thing list lol.

    dancingbarez: thankyou, i think perhaps some people shy away from humiliation because they view it as having to be on the negative side when it doesnt have to be at all.

    ps eye contact when im doing something embarrassing is something i struggle with but yet humiliating in a hot way.

  4. Hi Tori,

    I just got your email about the blogroll and tried to reply but not sure if it worked. Anyway, I changed my address and it really messed me up. The new address is

    I think you need to unfollow the old and refollow the new to have it show up on the blogroll. Sorry about that.

  5. Hey, just stumbled across your blog and really enjoyed reading it. I love this post and how you say humiliation is different for EVERYONE. That's so true, and it's one of those topics I could just go on forever about. Anyway, looking forward to reading more from you :)

  6. Thankyou playful brat, yes it is one of those subjects that really fascinates me.


  7. I just recently wrote about humiliation...

  8. I know Im late here, but this is a great post, and one I can really relate to. I love spankings, but he has never once put me over his knee to do it. I can see how that would be humiliating, but Id be ok with it overall. There are other things I find humiliating that really eat away at me, and if he made me do them, it would break my trust in him and make me feel like Im not being taken care of emotionally. He knows this, and is very careful not to cross that line. However, we have had a few struggles when he doesnt think something will be humiliating and I do. He sees it as a simple act and I do not. These things require a lot of discussion. Ultimately, I hate humiliation and I am one that associates it with something negative. However, there are things I find slightly embarrassing that are ok. Its definitely different for each person, and I think this post really demonstrates that.

    1. hi kitty..its never too late lol

      It is interesting but your right i agree its something that requires a lot of discussion because it can if care is not taken be more harm than good.

      No one can say what is humiliating because its just so personal.


  9. Humiliation! ah...that's a tough one
    Personally I love(hate) being humiliated.
    I always come up with these fantasies where he is humiliating me and I have to decide whether or not to share with him because:
    A.) I love being humiliated
    B.) I hate being humiliated

    It's a conundrum for sure!