Wednesday, 31 October 2007

umm sometimes i fuck up...sorry

oh bloody hell i came on here to apologise for the last post, i was sulking to be honest and ok feeling a little hard done by, i didnt like what He said and i didnt like it because it was the truth and well as they say the truth hurts so i got stroppy hence the post. Then i realise He has posted a comment on the post of last night and i wanted to get my piece in first oh well never mind what He said was right so im not going to go over it now, although He has ruined my grovelling post(and that wont happen much here)because i was/am feeling bad about what i wrote.

The thing is i know its not meant to be easy and i knew as soon as i said "go on your own then" that i had definitley gone too far and not that it makes a difference but i did feel bad and i sat on my bed and cried when He logged off because i knew i was wrong, but i didnt want to admit that i was. Im not generally a sulker but after He punished me i was feeling hurt obviously as well as still stroppy over what He said and instead of accepting that i was in the wrong in the first place i comforted myself with the idea of what a nasty sadistic bastard He is making me feel this way conveniently forgetting that i brought it on myself.

So im sorry, i behaved childishly because i wasnt getting my own way and hearing what i wanted to hear so i acted out and you deserve better than that because i know im lucky that you do listen to what i have to say, and i really feel awful that i spoke to you disrespectfully because i do respect and love you very much

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