Monday, 2 September 2013

Obedience to authority

I have just finished reading a book about Stanley Milgram whom carried out experiments and research back in the 60's on obedience....im a nerd, social structures and why we behave the way we do interests me.

a quote from the book

"obedience is as basic an element in the structure of social life as one can point to"

Although the book, experiments and research is in no way related to D/s, obedience is, and its what motivates one to obey that interested me, why does one obey in situations that perhaps go against what they want, believe is right, or goes against their instinct?

We are all acountable to authority in some form, employers, law and the military comes to mind, but in relationships no, yet in M/s or as it is for me i am accountable to the bossmans authority, it means that in some situations i obey even though its not what i want, believe to be right and perhaps rarer goes against my instinct.

I accept his authority without question because i respect his integrity, i trust that he wouldnt ask anything of me that would intentionally be detrimental to me and us, my motivation to obey is because i know he values obedience.

Master does tend to have a very black and white outlook in this regard, with little ...well no room for manoeuvre...its simply "you either choose to obey or not" a 'not' results in consequences, and i am punished because by not obeying im not respecting his authority over me.

For me its not so black and white, not always, sometimes i will try to seek out a loophole, to explain my reasonings, i never as of yet got anywhere by doing this, my arguments have been shall we say very colourful at times, think 'the dog ate my homework' excuse lol

His black and white attitude, would annoy me, that he wouldnt listen to reason, that sometimes there are reasonable explanations for ones actions, dont get me wrong i would feel bad that i had disobeyed him, i dont get any benefit out of displeasing him.

But anyway reading this book, got me thinking, and applying what i read to our situation, if you think of those in the military..they take an oath to obey orders, recruits from day one are taught and trained to obey, immediatley and without question.  I think its reasonable to say that sometimes they may have orders that they dont agree with, that they dont think are right..but they obey if they dont there are consequences.

That is what he expects and wants, its put this whole 'following blindly' logic in a different light, as i have questioned on occassion if thats a good thing, following blindly that is, its never really potrayed in a positive light, but yet if i trust him as i do, then really is it such a bad thing?



















11 comments:

  1. tori,

    Wow. This is a very deep and thoughtful post. I am impressed by our obedience to Bossman.

    I took an oath in the military and I was taught about following orders. Failure to obey was quickly punished with physical torture (stress positions.) The Drill Instructors had no mercy on us especially in the first few weeks of training. Soon, we not only tried to obey but also tried to exceed his expectations.

    However, my DI told me that he lost a rank because he did not agree with an order by a newbie officer. He refused to put his men in danger because of a bad decision by this green officer. I admired him for his courage.

    But, back to TTWD. It is the denial of what we want and doing things we "hate" that makes it so powerful.

    Terrific post,

    Hug,
    joey

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    1. Thanks joey

      It was an interesting read and there is so much i wanted to write about it but the post would have turned into a book itself lol

      Yes i absolutley agree with your last paragraph.

      Do you miss the military at all?

      x

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  2. Wow. Great post!

    "why does one obey in situations that perhaps go against what they want, believe is right, or goes against their instinct?"


    i asked myself this question when Sir and i started down this path. My logical answer is the only way to have a total mind blowing experience and to satisfy my need to fulfill all His needs and wants was to trust Him. i'm glad i have as my mind has been opened to wonderful things. i'm learning that i can trust someone with my well-being.

    I agree with Joey too- denial of what we want and doing things we hate. i also think the fear of trying something once drives it. If you trust Him and share those fears, obeying when He requests of you makes it easier to face the fear.

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    1. Thankyou

      Yes i couldnt agree more, sometimes we have to let ourselves let go, if we dont there is so much we could miss out on, its a big thing to hand over ourselves to someone else but the rewards are more than worth it.

      x

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  3. "I accept his authority without question because i respect his integrity, i trust that he wouldnt ask anything of me that would intentionally be detrimental to me and us, my motivation to obey is because i know he values obedience"

    You're in a great place - I hope to be there one day....

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    1. I feel like i am at the moment, but that can change lol

      You will be, i swear sometimes that when i think yeahh i got it, i realise how far i really have to go..but then is there ever a final destination!

      x

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  4. Hi Tori, I love the paragraph Saturn highlighted above. It does all come down to integrity and trust doesn't it? Great thought provoking post! Thank you for sharing, it has given me some food for thought.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. hi Roz

      Yes i think it does, its so important to know that they have values and thats what keep us safe and secure in their dominance.

      thanks

      x

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  5. great post Tori - it comes down to how much faith and trust you have in him at the end of the day doesn't it. But some good points were made by joeyred and it goes to show that it not as easy and simple as black and white. When you get down to the thick of things, this submission and dominance and obedience without fail - its a hard thing. Its a challenge. Its good, but hey, nothing good was ever easy :)
    nice post, thanks :)

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    1. Its a challenge, and one i dont always suceed in lol but i try very much.

      thanks

      x

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