As much as it has been a pleasure having my niece to stay, it was nice to see my brother arrive to take her home, it had been a busy week, a fun filled week but tiring.
Yesterday it was nice to just wake up and have nothing planned for the day, and as i sat in bed i started grinning to myself, thinking about the bossman, you know those secret sort of grins where if people looked at you they would think your bonkers?
Things change, and although im not a fan of change, i dont tend to cope with it too well, sometimes its subtle and it takes a while for to get that realisation of "oh, i have just noticed" , i was thinking of in the morning when on waking sometimes he pushes my head down, he doesnt need to vocalise what he wants its pretty obvious, and i suck on his cock, or he will just use my body and take whatever hole he feels like.
Mostly at these times its just about getting him off, its all about his needs, if i enjoy it then thats a bonus and mostly i do, it gets me off and he rarely has left me unsatisfied myself, this particular morning, there was no orgasm for me, he took what he wanted and that was that.
and im ok with this, i had this realisation this morning that actually i havent orgasmed for over a month approximatley, and i havent complained, heck normally there would be a rant about the unfairness of this on here...but nope...i can honestly say im not fazed by this.
Denying me orgasms has in the past been used to discipline me, because of course i like cumming, i like masturbating and as great as using 'toys' are nothing compares to being brought to orgasm from sex, by his hand...but i havent and i dont know when i will again...and i dont care...at this moment that is.
Its simply not something i have a say in, and why it has taken me so long to have this realisation, i dont know but even though i know its his choice it has previously caused me angst when i have been denied, i have dwelled on it.
So to suddenly realise that it has been so long since i have cum and i havent complained about it or even brought it to his attention, or thought about it until now, makes me wander how this change has come about without me even realising it.
Im happy, as long as his needs are being met then im happy with that, my need is simply to serve his him.......and i have always been perfectly happy with that in regards to everything else but sex or more specifically me climaxing.....and now well i get it, i get what he means when this subject has come up, im not feeling resentment that he has been getting pleasure and i havent...because i have been getting enjoyment from pleasing him.