Its been over a month, perhaps 2 months, since he introduced having the butt plug inserted every day for 15 mins, and for the most part i dont mind it at all, sure there are times when i think i could really do without this....but then thats when i need it most. I did try to wangle my way out of it yesterday..citing that it is a public holiday..so do i get a day off as well? ...no i dont!
Like a lot of others, and contrary to myth being a slave doesnt mean i spend my time locked in a cage, and taken out for use only....(although this is a huge fantasy of mine lol), i work, have the children, housework..the normal everyday stuff that we do and it gets busy...stressful at times....and those times are when it has affected my behaviour in a negative way..i get stroppy, irritable..basically disagreeable.
But this ritual, which is done during the day..honestly sometimes trying to fit in the 15 mins takes some juggling! especially during the school holidays and there is lots going on..but i havent missed a day since i started...no thats a lie...i was unwell one day so was excused.
Anyway by having these 15 minutes of what can i call it umm 'downtime' im not sure thats apt! but taking time out of the everyday hustle bustle of work, family, home stuff etc and to be able to kneel and just spend this time thinking about me, submission, him, and us, is having a positive effect on my behaviour, my thoughts..and its noticible.
I realise i needed this time, its good for both of us, thats not to say its an instant cure for stroppy behaviour lol ...nor does it induce the perfect submissive (i wish!)..i still have my moments.....but its different, im different in a subtle way...difficult to explain.
There is just something, something about that plug. It makes me centered and more pliable? I don't know the right word. It makes a difference. Way to go, that's a long time for every day. I'm impressed!!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Fiona
Yes, although i dont think its the actual plug that has the effect, it could be something else..nipple clamps, etc..its just having it in, and having that time to focus is what makes the difference.
Deletelol i did try negotiating the 15 mins....i didnt get anywhere.
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I can only say, great work. That kind of training is not easy at all.
ReplyDeleteI am also curious how that thing, a simple plug can have have so much impact on the personality.
thankyou.
DeleteAs i said above to Fiona, i think its not the plug specifically, it could be something else, something tangible...its the time with it, that i spend focusing, thinking about me, him etc that is having the impact....does that make sense?
In a way its similar to how being in bondage impacts me....that focuses me and right away gets me to where i need to be...just 'being'.
x
tori,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. My compliments to you for being so diligent. Is this the inflatable plug you hate?
Hug,
joey
Sometimes it is joey...and i do hate that bloody thing....i really am so tempted to put pin pricks in it so it wont inflate...but im not that brave lol
Deletex
I can understand how hard it is to find 15 min., kudos to you!
ReplyDeletelol it easier when the children are at school thats for sure...but yeah i have made that time because its worth it.
Deletex
Tori: Mega difficult to juggle and to find those fifteen minutes. But the things that can serve to connect us that can be fit into every day life can be so positive and rewarding ;o) Glad you are finding peace through the juggling.
ReplyDeleteThanks Bleuame
DeleteTo think when he first brought it up i was not too enthusiastic lol, i tried negotiating time length
but i wouldnt want to be without it now.
x
Love the post... You seem so interconnected with your Dom and yourself. Admiration... Just saying. This is beautiful to me! Maybe not the inflatable part though. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks,
DeleteWe have our moments lol, but yes we are both mostly on the same wavelength
lol the inflatable one is not my favourite!
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Wow!!! Your Master is so wise!!!
ReplyDeleteImpressed you've only missed one day. But I love reading the results you've noticed. :)
oooh Sarah dont say that..you will give him a bigger head than he already has lol
Deletex
Ooh, so that is not just 15 minutes with the plug & going about your business .. that's interesting tori. I am soon to start using a plug & I have NO idea what to expect. I like THIS alot though. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDelete(((hugs)))
gk
Hi kittie
DeleteI didnt expect it have these effects, am just as surprised lol
Its really making a difference though.
x
When I get stressed out & Daddy is at work and he notices on a call or I ask for help, he tells me to put the plug in till he tells me to take it out. It always helps. I think because it draws attention to a most intimate place on our bodies and his place in our lives. *shrgs* I just know that, like you, it works :)
ReplyDelete<3
cd
Yes i like that way of putting it...that it draws attention to our bodies...i really do..i think you have hit on something there lol
Deletex
There is totally something about the plug...can't really explain it tho.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever felt like just putting it in, even if you already did your 15 minutes?? Daddy will encourage mouse to use it when she feels a bit stressed...it's probably a bit of conditioning...
Hugs,
mouse
I wander though if its the plug? it could work just as well with something else? although i did like cd aboves comment, i think yes it reinforces not just the mental aspect but that my body is his.
DeleteI havent felt like that mouse, i wander if its because on some days i have put it in when i have felt i needed that 'time out' to focus, whereas on other days i just fit it in as and when i have time.
Conditioning...hmm yes i think that has a lot to do with it.
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Hmm. Think it might be both..physical and mental. It's a physical reminder of submission...
DeleteDunno...
Hugs,
mouse
hmmm so far we haven't used the plug as a long distance device. i'll ask BIKSS about it.
ReplyDeleteIt might be worth a try, just to reinforce his dominance, to reflect on your submission?
Deletex
Love this Tori,
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad this seems to be working well for you. What an excellent idea! Well done for finding, and spending the time every day.
I agree with what you have said in your replies. It's probably not the plug itself perhaps, but taking the time out to centre yourself and to focus on you, on him, and your relationship. I imagine it definitely helps in keeping a submissive mindset.
Hugs,
Roz
thanks Roz
DeleteYes i would say its more about the mental impact than anything else, although reflecting on a comment above i do think the plug and its use, reinforces that my body is his...
I never expected to have the effect it has had though!
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Hi Tori! Sounds like you are doing well. This makes perfect sense. It's easy to let life get in the way and stress one out so having that time to focus every day does make a big difference even if you don't feel you have time to do it.
ReplyDeletehi ya db....good to see you about
DeleteYes life can be bloody hectic, im really enjoying the benefit this ritual is having, sometimes times an issue but its worth making the time.
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